Atlantis // DNF

Blue

Third person POV

George remembers the lyrics from that artist. The one that he had listened to because Dream's sister liked him.

When Dream first talked about One Direction he had said that his sister likes them. That morning George had went through all their albums, listening to the songs and adding them to his youtube playlist named 'songs'. He had learned lyrics to the ones he liked and now and then he would find himself dancing in the kitchen along to the funny music, singing out loud to his favourite parts.

Later on he had listened to Harry Styles and his music had quickly grown on him, but as he was growing on Harry soon came conspiracy theories. Larry was mentioned pretty much just as often as his name. It had taken him quite some time to look in to it, but when he did, he felt this feeling at the pit of his stomach. He couldn't hold back the agony laugh that he let out when he found out about the blue and green colours, that felt oh so familiar to him.

He had listened to Louis once, but he hadn't put out much music since the band went on the break that is lasting longer than the band's existence. George wasn't holding back the excitement when he found out about the coming album and he was already preordering everything he could get, because he had a feeling.

And the feeling was right. He really was right. Not many people had found that much comfort, company and understanding in Louis' music, but George did. He knew lyrics to pretty much all the songs and he had never been more thankful for Dristas good music taste.

"Only the Brave" had made him feel things. It had made him think and he had felt so at peace, so comforted, so understood and so... so brave, that he had taken the song off of all his playlists. Purely from the fear of it, from the realisations that came upon him every single time he listened to it.

It's only for the brave and he had never felt brave. He had never been brave enough. He wasn't ready or at least he thought so. He is in his twenties for gods sake, he has so much to learn, he has such a long way to go, how can he know. How could he ever know?

Come on, when you know, you know

"When you'll say it, you'll know."

"Is it wrong?"

"What exactly, baby?"

"Me. Am i wrong? For feeling like that. For... feeling like that about him."

"Tell me one thing in this world that is correct. Can you point at a single thing and say, this is how it is supposed to be? You'll never know. We'll never know. Can you help it? I know you have tried, i know you have tried to get rid of it so many times, in so many ways, it just doesn't go away and it won't."

I chocked up as the words left her lips. Why can't it go away?

"How could that be wrong? How could something that you simply cannot control wrong? George you have been looking at people differently since you were a kid, it's not like you met him and now you are different. You just found out because he helped. I'm not saying you love men, i'm saying that you don't settle on woman. I'm saying that you don't have a single road. You'll figure out what you want when the time will come."

"I know what i want. It's not men, woman or anyone in between. I don't want any of that mom, i want Dream. I want only him, i don't want anything else."

"You are growing up."

I was choking up my own tears and it hurt almost just as much as the thought of leaving.

"I can't go back, mom. I want to stay here. I love you so much, it finally feels like home."

"You have a home there too, you just have to make it your own. You can stay here as long as you want, i just have a feeling that you know. You know that you are not supposed to be here. You should call him."

"He will be mad. He is going to hate me. Mom, i can't just pretend it didn't happen."

"Of course you can't! And you won't! If you don't know what to do, then let him do something first. Just don't wait for too long."

"Can i take your phone? I forgot my charger."

"Of course."

It took about ten minutes before the chat filled up with 'GEORGE IN CHAT' and about 30 seconds for Sapnap to catch up on it.

"George in chat??"

I was holding my breath, waiting. Something. Say something.

"Is he?? Is he really?"

"I think so! Call him!!"

It took a few seconds of silence before Dream spoke up

"I think you should. I mean it's my stream and it would be rude to just leave."

he hates me

"Oh. Yeah, right."

Seconds later my phone was ringing and Sapnap's voice sounded a bit funny from the low quality speaker. I had tried to buy my mom a better phone but she had taken a liking to the old one and refused to try something new.

"George? How are you?? Where are you? Are you ok?"

"Hey, Sap. I'm ok, better. I'm... at my mom's place."

"W-what? Why? Did something happen?"

"No, it just felt right."

"That's good! That's really good!"

i could hear him laughing. Happiness.

"are you on stream?"

"No. I left."

it was silent for a second. It was like we were just there, taking in the moment of calmness.

"I told her."

"Y-you did? How did if go?"

"She already knew. She said she had always known. She said a lot and i've been thinking. I... I don't feel like falling anymore Sapnap."

"What do you mean?"

He sounded worried. Like he was scared.

"You know, falling means that you don't expect it. It's accidental. But when you are ready, when you know what is happening and you let yourself do it...

...you start diving."