Reaching for the Stars

Chapter 39: The Touch You Missed

Warning: This chapter contains mild violence and blood.

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"What's with you?"

That question hit him like a truck even though John asked it gently. They were having a coffee at a café near Tom's place. The place had a pleasant air, gentle and calming, but it had no effect on him. The cup of coffee innocently stared back at him, almost like feeling sad that he hadn't taken a sip.

The Doberman in front of him put his own cup of coffee back down. John looked at him with a soft expression, but to Max it was an intense glare. John was silently—no, outright judging him.

Even without answering, the German Shepherd feared the implications. What was with him? What happened back earlier? He was just defending and protecting the wolf from Kevin's horny remarks, right? "I-I just... I..."

The Doberman didn't answer, only stayed quiet to allow him to continue.

"I just... Kevin was making inappropriate comments of Tom."

"That I know, but I don't understand that and what happened before that, Max. It seems like you're jealous, sometimes even possessive."

Was he jealous of Tom? Was he possessive of Tom? If so, why? Did the wolf even know about it? Why did Max do this in the first place? He looked up to John, feeling confused, although he knew whatever question the Doberman gave would leave him even more confused.

That was exactly what happened. "I'm not doubting you, Max, but do you... do you have feelings for Tom?"

If the last question made him feel like he was hit by a truck, now he felt like he was hit by a train... two trains... heck, an aeroplane because now, that made him doubt one of the most fundamental things about himself.

"Max," John started again in a soft tone. He knew this was serious because the Doberman hadn't been speaking in his dialect. "I know you don't like it when people assume that you're not straight, but this time it's important. Tonight is not the first time it happened. You've been very close with Tom, that's understandable. However, you've also been glaring and sometimes barking at Octo, Andy, heck, at me too when we were close with Tom. You've almost always been keeping Tom near you but far from the others. You're still my captain, Max, and I respect you, but you're also my little brother, too."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, the shepherd pushed his coffee forward and slumped on the table. "I don't fucking know, okay! I don't fucking know what happened!"

Maybe he really was not as straight as he assumed? Wait, one didn't need to be gay to have feelings for a guy, right? Wait, did he even have feelings for guys?

"Fuck!" He hit the table.

John simply reached out and patted his head. Max could only let him, too deep in his own thoughts. Was Tom at fault here? Looking back at it, the wolf was the one who kissed him that day, making him debate whether he was straight or not for enjoying that kiss. Yet, that was just a kiss, nothing more. That was just his loss in a game. Now, Tom didn't do anything. It was Max himself who decided to help him, cuddle with him, and protect him through his depression.

He... was just protecting the wolf, right? That didn't mean he had feelings for the wolf, right?

Right?

"It's okay, Max." John said again. "It's okay to doubt yourself."

He turned his head to the other dog and growled low, but John didn't flinch at his act of aggression.

"You know, I had similar doubts myself. I used to like a guy back when I was in my old job." The Doberman pulled his hand away. "I didn't even realise I liked him. It just felt... right when he was around."