The True Alpha

Chapter 18

I'm sitting on the edge of Derek's window, staring at the stars. I know Scott's behind me but I really don't feel like talking right now.

We've been training for hours everyday for a week now and I'm getting tired of waiting.

It's like Laken is having fun with this, like he he's playing cat and mouse. I know I shouldn't be too eager for his attack, like Scott says "the more time he takes, the more ready you'll be"

And I get it, lakens cocky, extremely so.

He doesn't think that I can beat him.

And honestly I'm terrified that he's right. What if, even with all the blood wolf powers I still can't beat him? What if he kills me just like he killed my parents.

I feel a tear run down my cheek and suddenly there's a hand there wiping it off. "Hey, what's wrong?" Scott asks and I sigh.

I really don't feel like explaining all of this to him, but then I see the look on his face and I cave.

"I'm scared Scott"

He wipes another stray tear and I lean into his hand. "Sorry to interrupt but can I say something?" A very tired looking stiles says coming up to join us.

I finger the ring on my hand, I had any looking for it after I threw it away, it was from my parents... How could I not keep it?

"Yeah" I say scrambling shyly away from Scott, realizing what position we were just in.

"It's okay to be scared, trust me.. Some uh things happened to me last year and I had to fight it, I was terrified, but I can tell you one thing Scott never leaves anyone behind, and you're a lot stronger inside than you think you are"

"Wow stiles, I didn't know you were a shrink" Derek says chuckling.

And so what happened to me being alone with my thoughts turned into a group meeting about how I didn't believe in myself.

By four in the morning most of the loft was awake and sending me encouraging thoughts.

That is, until Lydia grabbed my hand and pulled me away glaring at anyone who tried to follow.

"They all mean well, but girl talk can be so much better for the health" I laugh at her. Lydia was cool.

"Though I will say, my stiles advice was pretty head on" she said and I widened my eyes. "You heard that?" I ask and she nods. "Yeah I came out about five minutes after him Bianca"

She laughs as if I'm the most clueless person In the world, which with everything that's going on, I kind of actually feel like.

"No one in this loft can make you feel any stronger than YOU can b, if yo don't feel it, it won't be there, Bianca I've seen you in training and the way you focus sometimes, if you'd just let it out..." She trailed off and I knew what he was going to say.

And I also knew that couldn't do that.

"I don't want to hurt anyone"

She sighed, "I understand that, but hurting one person who wants more than anything to hurt you, that is justified b, trust me."

"Oh I want to hurt him, trust me, but I don't know if I can kill him.. I don't think that's who I am, it's not in me"

"I understand that too, but you need to understand if it comes down to it, if it's you or him, please promise me it'll be you."

I gulp and nod, knowing there's little truth to my action and stand.

I feel more confident, somewhat, I mean not much but it's growing.

Knowing all of these people have six faith in me helps. But I know Lydia is right, it doesn't matter if the world has faith in me, if I don't have faith in myself, I am going to die.

I hop into the bed with my aunt. We're staying in Derek's room, who is so graciously sleeping on the couch.

It's five in the morning and I can hear snoring coming from every inch of the house.

And yet, here I am, wide awake. Again staring at the moon.

It's about six thirty when I finally fall asleep, I dream of my mother and I smile as I sit with her in the field we used to have lunch in.

She hands me a sandwich and starts to sing a familiar lullaby from when I was a child.

"Lilly's bloom as the crows cry
Singing my baby's sweet lullaby
Daisy dancing
By the river
A winter snow
To steal a shiver
A rose for you
And death for me
But life and happiness for my little sweet B"

I listened to her voice as she continued to sing over and over again.

"You can't keep running you know" a voice says and I'm jerked out of my sleep.

Apparently I was thrashing and my aunt almost had a heart attack because she thought I was dying or turning.

Not sure which ones worse.

I step into the bathroom and brush my teeth, splashing cold water on my face as I hum the lullaby from my dream.

"You remember that?"

I jump and my aunt takes a step back putting her hands up in surrender. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" she says and I relax.

"I've been dreaming about it."

"Your mother used to sing that to you-"

"I know" I say and brush past her.

I've barely spoken to my aunt since the laken bathroom incident.

She's apologized countless times, but I'm just not ready to forgive her just yet. She lied to me twice, after she promised she wouldn't lie again.

Scott argues it was for my own good, but how the hell was laken almost killing me twice for my own good?

Stiles is passed out on the mistress on the floor with an at draped around Lydia and his mouth hanging open.

Honestly, it must be love.

Though, I have to admit stiles does have this sarcastic charm about him.

"Good morning" Scott sad as he pours himself a bowl of cereal. "I think we may take a break from training today?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah you deserve it, plus it's Saturday, you've had school and training all week."

That had been rough, and that girl. Autumn had been asking for a lot of attention lately.

She'd been eating lunch with me, and he was really into my ring. She put asking questions about it that I couldn't answer.

Apparently it was some history heirloom and she'd done research on it. She was a history buff I guess.

"What're we gonna do then?" I ask smiling softly.

"I was hoping I could take you out?"

My heart stopped.

What?

(Sorry it's short
I've been busy
Thank you for reading 😘
Love ya!)