Don't Read (The Last Page)

‌no amount of freedom gets you clean (i've still got you all over me)

Taylor dropped a new song and I have FEELINGS...

What if Eda didn't turn back and got on the plane to New York?

A look at Eda's inner thoughts in NY.

Artistic liberties taken.

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She did it.

It broke her soul into a billion pieces but she got on the plane and she left.

She left her aunt, her friends, her dreams, her job, her school, her whole life behind.

She left him behind.

She gave her shares to Serkan and just.. left.

Leaving him behind was what hurt the most.

But she didn't have a choice.

Her heart was breaking, her soul was hurting and her body was missing his touch but she couldn't do it. She couldn't stay and watch Selin go through her pregnancy, with Serkan by her side.

She couldn't be in-between that baby and Serkan.

She knew he would never let her go, so she let him go instead.

Serkan said he couldn't be the father but he wasn't sure. He admitted that. He knew there was a possibility. He knew that there was a very real chance that he might be the father.

The reality that the hands that once touched her in the most intimate way, touched another woman killed her.

All she could remember when she found out that Serkan might be the father was that how she'd said that nobody but her could touch him.

How naive she had been. He was missing for two months. Two months where he did not even know that she existed at all. Two months where he believed he was still with Selin. It might have happened. Two months is a long time.

Selin seemed pretty sure that he was the father. And as much as she didn't want to believe, she just didn't see Selin being with another man after everything she did to get to Serkan.

Serkan had demanded a paternity test. It made sense that he didn't trust her word after all the tricks she had pulled on him but they'd have to wait until the baby was born to do it. Until then, Selin wasn't going anywhere.

And she didn't have it in herself to be there throughout the whole thing. She wasn't strong enough. Not after everything.

She was tired. She was drained. She was lost.

She needed to get out. To get away.

Only Melo knew where she went. And while she wasn't the best at keeping secrets, Eda knew that this, she would never tell. Not to Serkan, not to her aunt.

So she transfered to one of the best schools in New York to finally get her degree. She neglected her studies a lot the last couple of months but now, focusing on her studies was exactly what she needed.

And focus she did. Especially with all the catching up she had to do. It was the best way to keep her mind busy.

She graduated with honors and when she got her diploma, Melo was the only person there to cheer her on. She swore to her that nobody knew where she was.

She was getting news about home from her. Her aunt, ArtLife, Serkan.

Melo told her that they hated that she left but they understood it. They understood why she did it.

She told her that Serkan begged for weeks, and still was, to tell him where she was but Melo never once budged.

All she would say anyone who asked where she was was that she was fine, she was safe, she just wanted to be alone for a while.

She got news about Selin and the baby too. It was a girl, apparently.

Serkan always wanted a girl. He wanted a little girl with her eyes.

She wanted it too. A little baby with her eyes and his looks, product of their epic love.

Maybe, maybe they could find their way back to each other. If she could find it in herself to go back. If Serkan could forgive her for walking away. If he wasn't Selin's baby's father. Because apparently, Deniz being the father is also a possibility. Who could have guessed?

You can never really know for sure with that woman.

But until then, until they knew for sure, she had to live her life. She owed that to herself.

Graduating with honors from the best school in New York meant she had job offers from the most prestigious firms all around United States. She ended up accepting an offer made by a firm in New York. She loved it there. She didn't want to move away again.

But no matter how far away she went, how much distance she put between the two of them, how long they stayed apart, Eda just could not get him out of her mind. Or out of her heart. She couldn't wash his touch off her body. She couldn't stop her soul from reaching out to him.

She prayed that Serkan wasn't the father. She begged to whichever God or deity or holy being was listening.

Because if Serkan was the father, she could never go back. Because Eda knew that if she did, Serkan would go back to her in a heartbeat. His love for her was the one thing she never doubted. Even when he didn't remember it.

That baby might not be born out of love but Serkan would never turn his back on her. He would give everything to her. Regardless of her mother, he'd be the best father he could be.

She can't be the reason that that baby wouldn't have both her parents by her side. She can't handle that. She grew up without her parents. She knew what it was like better than anyone. She could never do that to another kid.

She prayed that Serkan wasn't the father.

Because she had no idea how she could move forward with her life without him by her side.

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While I don't like Eda's decision to leave, I completely understand it.

It's not like (more like I hope) Serkan would be with Selin even if he was the father. They'd co-parent at best.

And Eda would never stand between Serkan and that child.

We all know that, with Selin as a mother, that baby would grow up resenting Eda, and eventually, by extension, Serkan. Because for that child, Eda would be the bad woman who kept Serkan away from his/her mother and is the reason why they aren't a family.

Eda taking a step back was, for me, only logical way out of this. True to her character. (Honestly, it may be the most in-character thing these writers made her do.) Until they figure out who the actual father is.

Let's see how the new writers will clean up this mess...