Don't Read (The Last Page)

stabbed me in the back (while shaking my hand)

For me, one of the biggest disappointments of the entire amnesia plot so far is that Aydan knew that Serkan was still alive but didn't tell Eda about it. Look, I get it. It is an extremely hard situation. But Eda was suffering right in front her eyes. From what was mentioned, it wasn't good either.

This girl managed to get you out of your house for the first time in 20 years. You get to go outside and have a social life because she kept showing up and helping you when she had every reason to walk away. She brought you and your son closer. You asked her to call you mom. And then you do this?

She should have known something was up the moment she was asked to keep his still being alive a secret. To me, Aydan just abandoned her son when he needed his mother the most. Again.

In the two episodes we've seen so far, after the initial excitement of her son coming back, Aydan didn't show an ounce of care towards him. Nothing we've seen, at least. Instead, she (along with Ayfer) has been turned into a joke with the whole Aydan-Ayfer-Alex storyline. Whatever happened to the Aydan who told off her adult son when he accused Eda of theft in front of everyone?

So I'm pissed. And I needed to get it out. Preferably before this week's episode because apparently Aydan will be getting involved (finally).

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Eda was trying. She really was. But she just couldn't get over the fact that Aydan had kept the fact that Serkan was still alive a secret from her.

When she found out that Aydan knew, from Selin no less, she was shocked. Then confused. Why would she not tell her? She could (eventually) understand Serkan losing his memory and not remembering her and asking his mother to keep it quiet.

But this was Eda. Aydan had the front row seat to her devastation. Her depression. She was there when Eda couldn't bring herself to get out of the bed. She saw how she threw up everything she ate. Her desperate attempts at looking for Serkan in the wrong place. How could she see all that and not give her the tiniest hint?

She could understand a lot of things. She could forgive a lot of things. She had forgiven a lot of things. But this? Even Eda Yıldız had her limits.

But this was Serkan's mother so she still had to see her and be in the same room with her so she had to be civil. As was the case right now.

She was at Aydan's place for the annual New Year's party the holding threw for employees and their loved ones. Serkan had been tending to some of the guests so for the moment she was on her own. Aydan saw her window and approached Eda.

"Eda? Can we talk?"
"You and I have nothing to talk about. I'm here for Serkan. I am trying to be civil in public but please don't make it any harder than it has to be."
"Eda, let me explain. Apologise. I miss you. I miss our talks. Let me try to make things right."
"I trusted you. You saw me at my lowest and you didn't say a word. As far as I'm concerned, whatever connection we had is gone. This is not the place for this talk. I need to use the bathroom. Excuse me."

She knew she wasn't going to be able to hold back her tears so she got out of there as fast as she could and splashed some cold water on her face. Then she fixed her make-up and joined Serkan. She didn't leave his side for the rest of the night.

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That night, when they got home and laid down on their bed, neither Serkan nor Eda went to sleep immediately. Serkan knew that even though Eda had forgiven his behaviour towards her when he couldn't remember her, she still couldn't forgive his mother for not telling her about him being alive. He knew he was partly responsible for it.

He knew that he wasn't completely to blame because of the memory loss but he had crossed some lines, lines which could not be justified by the amnesia.

He had forgotten an entire year. He had no idea what went down in that time period. But just because he didn't remember that year didn't mean it never happened.

His mother remembered. His friends remembered. Eda remembered. He just didn't listen. He believed Selin's lies and refused to listen to anyone else. Well, at the beginning. He finally started asking questions when he had a flashback of him and Eda that contradicted with what Selin had told him. And one by one, Selin's lies were unraveled and she left once again, with her tail between her legs.

"I can hear you thinking."
"I can hear you thinking, too. What are you thinking about?"
"You first."
"I was thinking about you. Me. My mom. What I did to you. Back when I didn't remember you."
"You know I forgive you for it, right?"
"I know. Which is just another reason why I don't deserve you. I'm just too selfish to let you go."
"Serkan-"
"No, Eda. I treated you horribly. I didn't even try to listen. There's no excuse and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. But that's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"I know you still haven't forgiven my mother. Even though you forgave me. Guess I'm just wondering why."
"You had an excuse. You lost your memory. You fell for Selin's lies. You didn't like me, maybe even hated me, before you even 'met' me. But the moment you remembered something about us, you asked questions. But your mom.. She saw me at my worst, Serkan. You don't know what the thought that you might be dead did to me. Not knowing if you were dead or alive, not being able to find your body, it was all- it got so bad. I couldn't function. I didn't want to function. And she was there for all of it. She watched me waste away and she said nothing. I know it was because you asked her to keep it quiet. But I just needed to know you were out there, somewhere. Alive. That's all I needed to know. And she didn't say a word. After everything, I thought she cared. Her staying quiet... I can't get over that. I can't forgive that."
"Eda, I can never apologise enough for what I put you through. But my mother does care about you. You are like the daughter she never had. She only stayed quiet because I asked her to. She wanted to tell you. I didn't-"
"I know that Serkan but it's not like you held a gun to her head and forced her to keep her mouth shut. She could have said something! Anything! The day before our wedding, she told me that I could call her 'mom' if I wanted to. I wasn't ready then but those two months you were gone I did start calling her mom. And using that word again, after 18 years, felt so good. But then finding out she kept something like this from me broke something in me. I want to forgive her. I tried. But every time I see her, it's like I'm reliving that moment all over again. I don't know if I'll ever be able to."
"I- I don't know what to say, Eda."
"There's nothing to say. It is what it is. Can we just go to sleep? I'm tired."

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Aydan Bolat would not give up.

She knew not telling Eda about Serkan had been a huge mistake but she couldn't break the promise she made to her son. She knew something wasn't quite right when Serkan didn't want Eda to know. His son would die for Eda. He wanted to be with her more than anything. He never would have hid something this big from her. Not after not telling her about her parents. He'd learnt his lesson.

But she had underestimated Selin. She never thought the sweet girl who grew up with his baby boy would resort to such disgusting tricks. How could she have not seen this? She hadn't been there for her son when he needed his mother more than anyone else. Again.

And because of her, Serkan had almost gotten married to Selin. He broke Eda's heart over and over again, day after day until he finally remembered a single memory that didn't match Selin's narrative and started asking questions. She should have been more vigilant, more observant. Instead, she had been running after a man who was interested in someone else and making a fool of herself in the process.

And now, Eda was not speaking to her. She had every right not to but losing Eda hurt her in ways she never imagined. She wasn't Eda's biggest fan in the beginning. But just like she did with her son, Eda managed to win her over as well. Traits she found annoying became parts she adored.

Now here she was, trying to come up with ways to make amends. Eda would not forgive her easily, if she ever did.

She knew exactly why it was so hard for Eda to forgive him. Serkan told her all about it when she had asked for advice. But she just didn't know how to make it right.

But Aydan knew she would. One day. Eventually. Probably.