introducing my love - skz af

twenty-six

Eunbyeol didn't stop after she made it out of the driveway, white knuckles clutching the steering wheel as she tried her best to see through the tears.

She was barely paying attention to the road, the events of the last half hour playing on her mind on repeat.

"Hoshi, love, you wanted me?"

Hearing Chan's happy voice was the only thing that made her question her decision. He sounded so calm and happy, and she was about to ruin it.

'because that's what you do Jongmi, you ruin things'

The voice echoed in her head, the same one that always made it back on her worst days, just to mess her up some more.

When her boyfriend entered, Eunbyeol was staring at the ground, trying to block the voice out, one hand still on the suitcase and one clutching the blankets next to her in a fist.

He instantly recognized that there was something wrong and raced to her side to try and help her.

"Hey hey it's me eo, I'm right here. I need you to stop whatever madness is going on in your head and just look at me okay?"

She flinched at his touch, looking everywhere but his eyes, knowing that if she looked at him she wouldnt be able to go.

"Look at me, please, please look at me"

"No"

Her voice came out steely and confident, a contrast to the panic and internal turmoil currently sloshing around in her head.

"What?"

His voice was quiet, and while he wasnt worried before, this wasn't the first time she had retracted into herself like this, he was now. He was always able to ground her, to calm her down and get her to talk to him, but how could he do that if she refused to even look at him.

"I'm sorry, this is something I have to do"

She blinked the start of tears out of her eyes as she stood up, Chan's eyes finally landing on the suitcase clutched in her hands.

"Eo-"

"I have to"

She rushed past him, knowing fully well that he was going to chase after her and she needed to get off fast if she was going to follow through with her plan.

She wasn't expecting everyone to be downstairs when she came clambering down the steps.

"Byeol?" Areum's voice called out, and it hurt to even look in her eyes.

She knew she was causing the girl pain, they had just become close and shared such deep things, and yet here she was, running away.

"I can't, I can't do it"

It was the first time she felt obligated to give an explanation to someone other than Chan.

She ran out, a quiet 'im sorry' leaving her lips, too much distance between her and the house for anyone to hear it.

She heard her name being called as she shoved her luggage in the passengers seat, running over to get herself in the drivers.

She allowed herself one last glance behind her as she tore out of the driveway, and instantly regretted it when she saw the love of her life looking absolutely shattered, bleary eyes following her car.

And that's when she finally let the dam break, sobs ripping through the silent car.

She was now halfway out of the city, on her way to a distant part of her past. When she recognized some of the crumbling buildings she knew she was close, the rundown and slightly threatening environment making her feel more at home than she would like to admit.