☘️Book 3☘️

81 13 9
                                    

Fated

By inky_jin

Cover- 3/5

The cover is nice but I would suggest you to put a cover which doesn't show relationships. Instead a little mysterious and tragic.
A

nu_Taejin_bts

You can contact our Cover and graphic editor lippe890

Blurb- 4/5

The blurb is well defined. It doesn't reveal a lot of the story and is attractive for the readers.

Chapter 1- 8/10

The first chapter is a nice starting and the twists are well defined...

Vocabulary/Grammar- 7.5/10

I corrected most sentence in the comments section cause Wattpad has a limitation of picture insertion.

The story is always great when the vocabulary is good.

For your case, there weren't much errors but some.

So these are a few that I screenshot.

So these are a few that I screenshot

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"Your"👆

"Choice"👆

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"Choice"👆

For this sentence, I would insist to change the sentence structure

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For this sentence, I would insist to change the sentence structure...

"Hyung....., Lucy.., I need to go to her.., But.., I was there last night, wasn't I? How and When did I come here....? Argh!! My head aches...."

And also for this sentence

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And also for this sentence...

"Well he's gonna learn what his life will be without Lucy..., We gotta teach him a lesson...",said Jimin with a smirk.

Character Development- 9/10

The characters are nicely going on..

Storyline/Plot- 19/20

The plot is beautiful. I really love fantasy..

Enjoyment 18/20

Impression 18/20

Total -86.5/100

Review: Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer. The book's going well. And I hope to see more interesting books from you..

Now I would like to suggest you to use a little less Exclamation at the end of almost every sentence. It makes the emotional impact of the story lessen by 10%. Use limited words in one sentence. Don't make the sentences too long or too short.

And I think you should cut off the sentences at points..

For example:
"...............",said Jimin as he smiled at me. I really need to say that Jimin was the bubbliest person I met at the time and then my Taebear. Jimin stayed not much far from Taehyung....❌

"...............",said Jimin as he smiled at me. I really need to say that Jimin was the bubbliest person I met at the time and then my Taebear.

Jimin stayed not much far from Taehyung....✓

That's it...

Thank you again.
Best wishes for your next books.
(。・ω・。)ノ♡

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