Fated
By inky_jin
Cover- 3/5
The cover is nice but I would suggest you to put a cover which doesn't show relationships. Instead a little mysterious and tragic.
Anu_Taejin_bts
You can contact our Cover and graphic editor lippe890
Blurb- 4/5
The blurb is well defined. It doesn't reveal a lot of the story and is attractive for the readers.
Chapter 1- 8/10
The first chapter is a nice starting and the twists are well defined...
Vocabulary/Grammar- 7.5/10
I corrected most sentence in the comments section cause Wattpad has a limitation of picture insertion.
The story is always great when the vocabulary is good.
For your case, there weren't much errors but some.
So these are a few that I screenshot.
"Your"👆
"Choice"👆
For this sentence, I would insist to change the sentence structure...
"Hyung....., Lucy.., I need to go to her.., But.., I was there last night, wasn't I? How and When did I come here....? Argh!! My head aches...."
And also for this sentence...
"Well he's gonna learn what his life will be without Lucy..., We gotta teach him a lesson...",said Jimin with a smirk.
Character Development- 9/10
The characters are nicely going on..
Storyline/Plot- 19/20
The plot is beautiful. I really love fantasy..
Enjoyment 18/20
Impression 18/20
Total -86.5/100
Review: Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer. The book's going well. And I hope to see more interesting books from you..
Now I would like to suggest you to use a little less Exclamation at the end of almost every sentence. It makes the emotional impact of the story lessen by 10%. Use limited words in one sentence. Don't make the sentences too long or too short.
And I think you should cut off the sentences at points..
For example:
"...............",said Jimin as he smiled at me. I really need to say that Jimin was the bubbliest person I met at the time and then my Taebear. Jimin stayed not much far from Taehyung....❌"...............",said Jimin as he smiled at me. I really need to say that Jimin was the bubbliest person I met at the time and then my Taebear.
Jimin stayed not much far from Taehyung....✓
That's it...
Thank you again.
Best wishes for your next books.
(。・ω・。)ノ♡
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