The Mafia's Muse

26. Drowning Eyes

"Breakfast will be ready soon," he spoke a bit louder that time.

I nodded again.

His hand slid to the back of my head and gently pushed me forward. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my head but stayed for a few seconds. He whispered I'm sorry in Russian but I pretended like I didn't hear him. He finally let go and looked at me one more time before quietly leaving the room.

I let out a long sigh and got up to get ready for the day, it was Saturday, right? Or is it Friday? I'm going crazy because I'm pretty sure it's Saturday. I quickly checked my phone and yeah, it's Saturday which means tomorrow is the Gala and his birthday.

Hmm, I wonder where Hotdog is.

When I looked in the bathroom mirror I grimaced, I still look so bad. I don't know why I expected it to be gone overnight but I can dream. I just hope the dress they fit me can cover up most of this mess. I know they will pick a good dress for me but I can have my doubts about coverage. They believe beauty should not be covered so much but I don't have much of that. They want to get me out of my comfort zone but they also know my limits. It's why I love them, they push me just the right amount and no more than that. They understand.

I need to get more makeup. I can't wait when there is a time that I don't have to wear makeup. Makeup always frustrates me because I can never touch my face unless I want to rub it off.

Oh well...

—

I walked into the dining room where everyone was waiting quietly. As I sat I felt eyes on me but didn't want to look up at anything of them. I'm not sure I could handle the looks they might give me. I'm not sure if I want to be looked at like a... whore is what I believe they called me.

"Hey," Othello whispered.

I turned to him and saw the small smile he was giving me. It wasn't disgust, anger, or even hate, it was a pure smile of support. My eyes watered but I blinked it away quickly and turned to the rest of the table slowly. I almost gasped as I made eye contact with each one of them. They all had a supportive face but their eyes were... different. No matter the shade of blue they had, their eyes were darker than normal. I felt like they were looking at something in which they cared about deeply and lost it. They all had drowning eyes, sadness and guilt swirled together and seemingly didn't clash. My eyes went down as I let out a shaky breath trying to calm my nerves.

"We thought maybe oatmeal will be good for your stomach today butterfly, but you can have something else if you want." Thorn smiled sadly.

I waved my hand in an 'it's fine' manner. I ate some which then allowed them to eat but I felt a bit awkward. I know they want to ask and for some reason, I want to tell but could I? Could I really sit there and explain what happened? Can I really explain to them that my 'father' was the one who did all this to me? And what am I supposed to say when they ask why? Am I supposed to have a long and detailed explanation when I didn't even know why myself? What do I say? What can I say?

"We made a decision dove," Castriel spoke up.

I looked up at him, "Tomorrow, you will still have to go to the Gala but not with us." He said making me blink, "We believe it is too soon to introduce you and with the past two weeks you have had, we are sure. As soon as we would have introduced you, everyone would be all over you and we don't want that. We will wait until the next Gala or Ball we have to introduce you properly." He explained.