Are you sure? || NamJin

Chapter 2: Celebration

"Hey, Jin" Namjoon's voice made him look up. They were both in the study. Namjoon was reading while Jin went around admiring his collection. He raised an eyebrow, looking at him. "You know I have to go back to work tomorrow right?" Namjoon had taken four days off work for the wedding since they had no honeymoon plans. They had passed by quickly with dinners, bike rides, and movies. Jin nodded. He was already dreading being stuck in this huge house by himself. "So I was thinking... don't you want to apply to some unis? For teaching" Jin gaped at him.

"I umm it's not that simple" He managed. This conversation was going to sting, but it had to be had.

"Why not?" Namjoon looked genuinely curious. He was looking at him gently. How did he look at him gently was beyond Jin, but he did.

"I went through a bad patch final year of grad school. I barely passed and didn't apply for any fellowship. And I've been idle for a year and some months. Teaching won't happen for me" Namjoon frowned. "I can try to find some other job if you want me to?"

"What? No no" Namjoon put his book away, panicking slightly. "I don't want you to work, I want you to get what you always dreamed of."

"Well I should have worked harder to keep the dream alive" Jin smiled sadly at him. He should've had the courage to put himself first. He should've had more courage, period.

"You did work hard. I read your thesis. It was very good Jin" This Jin hadn't known.

"Where did you read it?"

"It's still up in your uni's publications. They think it's good enough to keep and I agree with them. I'm sure other unis would too"

"It's not worth the trouble Namjoon-ah" Namjoon got up from his chair. Walked over to him.

"A dream is always worth the trouble. And I'll help you this time. We'll make them a portfolio they can't refuse" Jin chuckled at his dorkiness. "Come on, I want to try. Do it for me?" I could do it for you Namjoon because you're cute, but hope is dangerous, Jin wanted to say. Thinking he could have all that he had ever wanted was setting himself up for heartache. He had had enough of heartache. But Namjoon was looking at him so hopefully. Like he really wanted it.

"OK. But don't get your hopes up too high" Namjoon beamed, moving to his study table. He opened his laptop up and called Jin over.

"Don't you worry. We just need to market you well, I'm sure you'll get it" They spent all of Namjoon's last day of holidays making Jin's portfolio. It was bittersweet going through all his old work while they sat in the living room with their pizzas. Namjoon was a fair critic. And incredibly receptive. He didn't challenge Jin on the course material since he was the expert, but he had more experience being employed. He organized the portfolio with great care, including lots of details. It was heartening to see someone care so deeply about his work. The only person to do this had been his thesis supervisor. It got late in the night when they were finally able to finish. Namjoon even wrote him a cover letter, making him promise that he'll mail the portfolios out tomorrow.

The days with Namjoon at work dragged on. Jin tried to stay busy with housework, but there wasn't a lot of it to do, with only two people in the house. He just ended up spending his days waiting for Namjoon to come back by reading and watching TV.

To say Jin freaked out when he began receiving calls to come in for interviews would be an understatement. He had been so sure no one would want to hire him after the huge break in his career. He had mainly applied because he didn't exactly feel up to confessing his insecurities to Namjoon at first. And then he had gone along due to the sheer excitement with which he had helped him put together his portfolio. But universities did want to hire him as it turned out and he had no clue where to go from there. He had panicked so hard when he got the first call, he had ended up accidentally cutting it. He called back eventually and agreed to come in for an interview. And then he spent the next hour screaming into a pillow, jumping around the house, and freaking out, in that order. He had gone back to jumping when Namjoon came home. He practically screamed at him, blurting the news out and the smile Namjoon gave him made him jump more still.