Bound in Love

Chapter 26

Chris stared at his mother motionless. He couldn't move even if he tried. He felt all his muscles tense and his feet were glued to the floor. He had heard her say his name and then a faint hello escaped her lips, but it had been so low that he wasn't even sure of it. His head was spinning a bit. Some images of his childhood played again quite fast inside his mind and he cringed a little, supporting himself against the wall. The air was so thin that moment that he was fighting to breathe. His chest fell up and down quite fast and he was heaving even if low.

"Brother!" Peter called him and started to approach him for he knew something was wrong. "Chris..." Peter called him again.

Chris didn't answer. His eyes didn't even blink. They were set on the woman that had brought him into this world. She was supposed to have been his biggest protector and yet he had never felt like he had her protection. In fact, he blamed her for many ugly things that happened in his childhood. He needed love. Love that he never found in his parents. Recovering from that trauma had been the biggest challenge of his yet short life. He was frozen and Karen stayed on the exact same spot too. She didn't move.

"Chris..." Peter whispered as he got close and rested a hand on his shoulder. "CJ..." He said again as Chris was breathing incredibly heavy. "Brother... hey..." Peter insisted, trying to bring Chris back into the real world for he seemed lost inside his own world.

Chris's eyes went from his mother to his brother for a brief second and then to his mother again, but he didn't utter a word. He knew he had agreed on listening to her but that was before... before what happened to Ellie that swept the floor of his feet. He was unbalanced emotionally. So, not ready for that encounter. At the same time, he began to shake his head with his eyes set on his mother. Without even noticing it, tears began to fall down his face. His fists clenched and so did his jaw. A huge frown appeared between his eyebrows, forming a well-marked v line between them.

"No..." He breathed but audible enough for Karen to hear it and she raised both hands at him, as if telling him that she was not going to force him into anything.

"It's ok... I'll go..." She said, ready to go away. "Chris... calm down..." Karen added quietly as she knew he was on the verge to panic.

"Brother, calm down." Peter said, making him look in his eyes by grabbing him by his jaw. "Don't say anything you're going to regret it later." He added while looking into Chris's eyes.

"Regret it?" Chris repeated with shaking voice. Then, he raised his eyes to his mother again.

"Chris..." Peter called but he jerked his face away from his brother's hand.

"Do you even know what I went through? What Peter went through? What Pat, Maggie..." Chris raised his tone. "Do you even know what we all went through?" He questioned his mother. "Do you even have the slightest idea of what you put us through?"

"Fuck..." Peter whispered, knowing it was all just beginning. Nothing was going to stop Chris from that point on.

"Let's talk." Karen told him, trying to remain calm and she gave a step nearer feeling it was safe to approach him.

"It took me years... years..." Chris told her. "...to recover from the lack of love you and he inflicted on all of us. I rebuilt my house the day I met Ellie. I learned how to love the day I met her and I felt love for the first time too. How sad is that? I had to turn 24 to feel I was loved by a person when we are supposed to feel that way since we are little. Our parents are the first to love us... we didn't have that..."

"Listen to me." Karen pleaded with tears rolling down her face. "It's not like you think it is. I love you. I love you... all of you and I loved you all back then." She said reaching near.