Aurora [H.S AU]

Chapter 73

I wonder if she thinks about me, if she wants to know about me, if she misses me as much as I miss her. I can't stop wondering why she hasn't tried to contact me during these 17 years we're apart, and honestly I can't imagine a good enough reason for her to be so distant, for so long.

Is she afraid of something? Did she do something wrong?

Was it really all my father's decisions?

How the fuck would someone fake their own daughter's death? He must've had a hell of a reason, I can't even imagine how he would do it and convince her to go along with it.

It terrifies me to think about what were my father's reasons. What does he have on her to manage to do something so terrible, and get away with it? He not only destroyed a family, he destroyed his own, so the prize must've been high as fuck to be worth it.

I mean, I can't think of anything that would be worthy of something as awful as that, but something must've happened.

What about my mother? Was she aware of everything? Did she leave us because of him, and what he has done, or maybe she wasn't even aware, just like me, and left simply because she couldn't bear the idea of being part of a family without Madeline?

At first, I even thought about questioning my father, confronting him with the truth I know and convince him to tell me what really happened, but reality is, Harry is right in this matter - if he was capable of faking his own daughter's death, what could he do to me? If I wanted to talk to him about what I know regarding Maddie, I would have to trust him, and I definitely don't.

Everything is so fucking blurry, I can't find a sense to anything, and after a whole week lost in my own thoughts, the one thing that has been haunting my mind is as fucked up as it can get, but I still think it's the best solution - or at least, the best first step into finding out something more about my sister, and maybe one day even finding her. As much as I hate to admit it, he is an important, probably even essential, piece to this fucking puzzle.

Elliot James.

Of course I haven't talked to Harry about it - he'll probably lose his mind as soon as I reveal my desire to talk to the very person who kidnapped and tortured me, not even 10 days ago. He'll try to convince me to let him do things alone, that he should be the one to hunt Elliot down and torture him for information, but something tells me that's not the way to do it in order to get what we want.

The memories I have from Elliot when I was still a child doesn't match the guy I've met in that dark, greasy room. The Elliot who used to date my sister was a gentle guy, someone who would always bring me candy and who treated my sister like a princess, with all the kindness in the world. Fine, I didn't have a lot of contact with him by them, but I knew Madeline - my DeeDee was a great judge of character, and she would never get involved with someone capable of doing evil.

He was madly in love with her, and by the looks of it, still is. Almost 20 years later and he is still risking everything to try and find her. He even kidnapped me, her younger sister, which only proves he's so desperate to see her again, he doesn't even care if she'll hate him when they finally meet - because she will. She'll want to fucking murder him the minute she learns about what he has done to me.

All in all, the more I think about it, the more I'm sure EJ is the right way to go. He is the first step I need to take if I want to solve this puzzle and find more about my sister.

I've been giving myself constant headaches, trying to find a way to be sure about what I have to do next, but I haven't reached any conclusion yet. I know I need to talk to someone about it, and I know this someone is Elliot James, but I still don't know how or when to do it. The idea of contacting Tim also came across my mind, after Rickie explained how he helped them find me, but I still don't trust his intentions. I have no idea why he helped Harry to find and rescue me, and although I'm well-aware of how risky it was for him, after everything I've been through regarding S&L, secrets and lies, I would never deny the possibility of everything being a well-thought plan.