*39*

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When I wake up, I'm lost, I can't remember going to bed

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When I wake up, I'm lost, I can't remember going to bed. The thought of last night floods my brain, and I'm a little horrified at myself. Again, a live sex show. Why can't I say no? Well, I know why, but why don't I do it?

They probably think I'm some weird sex maniac. I then realize my head is lying on someone's chest. I keep my eyes closed and listen. He's breathing peaceful and deep, he must still be asleep. I move my head a little and open my eyes. I recognize that jawline and internally I cry a little. He is here, my soulmate, and the mark rejoices to have him so close. I try to see the alarm clock for the time and sit up in horror when I see the time, 9.28 am.

Oh fuck, I'm late. No, not today. The first performance is tonight, and the day is full of stage and wardrobe rehearsals and I need to be there at 10 o'clock. Shit, shit. The drive there alone takes an hour and a half. He woke up when I sat up abruptly, groggily rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he mumbles, "what is happening?"

I give him a quick kiss. "I'm so sorry, I would love to just lie here with you, but I'm so late. I need to leave right away. I'm expected for tonight's performance. I'll see you later tonight at the show. Mike has all of your tickets and he'll be picking you up at 5.30 pm."

I jump out of the bed before he can wind his arms around me. I rush to the bathroom and do my morning routine the fastest I've ever done it. I've never been this late in my life before. Last night wore me out. A smile spreads over my face, thinking back how he loved me. Wait? What? I meant fucked; I know I love him, but for him, this is just sex.

When I'm ready to leave the bathroom, I'm blocked by him leaning against the doorframe watching me. "Sorry, but can you move, I'm so late," I ask trying to pull him out of the way. He solidifies his stance, and I can't move him.

I drop my arms and glare at him, getting angry.

"I'm sorry if I was a little too much last night," he says nervously. What? Seriously? Now? Would you listen to him now if you were me? I really can't even though I want to.

"Could we do this later? I need to go." I ask, stroking my hand down his cheek. I lean in and kiss him again, and his arms hug me close, deepening the kiss. Please, not now, it's like he does it on purpose. Just a little longer and I kiss back hungrily.

When the pressure of being late gets to me, I wrench myself back and look at him pleadingly. "Later, okay?" I ask again, and he nods, stepping aside.

"Thank you. See ya." And with those words hanging in the air, I rush out of my room. I run down the stairs, luckily I already packed my bag and put it by the front door. Arriving downstairs, I put on my shoes, grab the keys and run to my car, no time for more goodbyes. I don't even know if they are awake yet. I throw my bag on the backseat, jump in, start the car and drive away. I dial the number for the Show-manager, and after a few rings, the line opens and I hear someone breathing.

Manager: Y/n? Where are you?

Me: I'm so sorry. Somehow the alarm didn't go off this morning.

I reply, the little lie slipping out without my consent. I completely missed setting the alarm. Something distracted me last night, you can guess by what I imagine. Every time last night flits through my mind, a big smile will grace my face. I loved last night, even if I'm a little shocked at myself. I didn't even protest once, I just went along with it right away.

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