JIKOOK | one-shot collection

cut deep

CUT DEEP | jikook one-shot
tw • involves suicidal acts

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Jeon Jungkook knew it was impossible. How could he dream for someone like Park Jimin? Someone who was everyone's ideal.

Visuals, good attitude, talents... he got it all.

So, why?

Why does it have to be him? Jungkook always asks himself this same question. But like the first time he asked, he got no concrete answer.

Because the moment he laid his eyes on him, the first time he watched him dance, that time he saw him smile, he knew.

Jimin is that man his heart yearned for so long.

However, Jimin was not entirely what Jungkook expected him to be. Visual? Yes. He has it. Good attitude? That's a given. Talents? Obvious. He showcases it every opportunity he gets.

But behind those perfections was a man too broken that even fixing, wouldn't work anymore.

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"Jimin! Stop that! You're doing this again! Just how many times do I have to remind you not to do this?"

"But seeing this blood dripping from my fingers, and feeling the pain it gives makes me forget everything else. Jungkook-ah, this is the only thing I could do to get my mind off him, please let me." Tears formed on his eyes as he spoke, his pale lips shivering, struggling not to break apart.

Jungkook washed his hand over his face in frustration. He dropped himself on the floor, beside Jimin and began crying. All he could do was sob in silence as he watches Jimin reach for cloth and wipe the blood from his fingers. He saw how the small, white cloth turned red. And it made him wail further. It pierced a deeper cut on his heart, one he knew would get even serious if Jimin persists on this scheme.

He tried. Jungkook did his best to convince Jimin to get himself checked, to get himself some help so he could go through his very tragic dilemma.

Yet again, it was no use. He failed, once more.

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The only choice left for Jungkook to do was to be there for Jimin. To watch over him so he wouldn't hurt himself further.

But Jimin did small cuts on his hand again, using his new-bought, sharp, blue cutter.

"Jimin..." he muttered, unable to control his voice from cracking.

Jungkook had probably twenty different cutters on his house. And it was all used by Jimin to cut himself. He confiscated everything sharp in his apartment as well, knives, even pens. But no matter how Jungkook hid it, Jimin will always find a way to buy a new one... preferably a blue-colored cutter.

There was a day when Jimin said that the cutter Jungkook owned was beautiful. That it was made finely and he'd loved to own such. But naive Jungkook didn't see through him immediately.

What does he mean? Why would he say that? Why would he look at a cutter that way? These queries never get to have a place on Jungkook's mind at that time.

He was blinded and occupied by the truth that the guy he likes talked to him. He smiled. He sat beside him. It was a dream he never knew would come true, so he seized it. He enjoyed the rare moment.

The man he admired secretly. That man, Park Jimin started a conversation with him. It was natural for him to forget anything else other than that fact. It was a surreal minute.

But clueless as he was, he didn't realize that Jimin got his eyes on his cutter. Looking for a chance to have it so he could use it to cut himself.

It was beautiful and it was sharp. Surely, the blade could perfectly cut through his soft skin without him having to struggle.

It was blue... and so was he.

This was probably what was running through Jimin's mind at that time, but Jungkook missed it.

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Sooner as they got close, he discovered that on the same day, Jimin's boyfriend was caught by the police. Turned out, he was the one who has done the serial killings in their area. That one viral terrible news on their television every day.

Jimin turned numb, mentally, emotionally, and physically. His mind was in chaos, so was his whole life. His whole situation is telling him to just end it all by jumping off a building, or by killing himself by overdose. But deep inside, he didn't want to die yet, so as a defense mechanism, he caused himself physical pain through little cuts on his hand. Said that, such an act would remind him that he's alive and that he's still capable of feelings and emotion.

The man, weak and pure as Jimin, couldn't accept the fact that he fell and genuinely loved a murderer--- a man, amazing as Min Yoongi.

"Please Jimin, I beg of you. Please stop hurting yourself. I'm here. I will help you forget. I will do everything so you'd never recognize that man again. Just, please. Take yourself away from pain," Jungkook pleaded.

Jimin took his hand and carefully caressed it. "Jungkook, reserve that love for someone else. I'm a mess. I don't deserve anyone. Not even you."

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I'm so sorry 🥺
I know this is one of my poorly written one-shots. I made it this morning, early as 5AM. I don't have much ideas about suicide, mental health and such so...