The Shame of Villains

Chapter Fourteen

The next day I dreaded what I was about to do. My walk to the castle went by far to quickly. I walked up past the rolling green hills and the blue flowers. Past the guards in there black armor. Into the entrance hall. All the way to the throne room where court for the recent events was being held.

I entered and everyone's eyes turned to me. Silence. Nobody spoke a word. Their eyes followed my journey to the thrones. Hate burned behind the kings eyes. The queen couldn't even look at me. Declan had a look of disgust on his face. I wasn't sure which one hurt more. I knelt before them. It was a minute before anyone spoke.

"Why are you here?" It was the king.

"I—I" my voice stumbled.

"Why are you here?! You traitor!!" He yelled again.

"I came to apologize."

It had seemed like a good idea this morning. But now being here seemed very much like a bad idea. I was not wanted here.

"Apologize? APOLOGIZE? You came here to apologize?! For which thing Alissa?! The murder of your sister?! Or the plotting of my death? Tell me, Alissa.... do you regret any of it?"

I didn't get a chance to respond. Another voice spoke.

But it wasn't the King or Queen. The voice spoke from somewhere in the crowd.

"Alissa how clever of you. I should have known it was your sister. No matter. That changes nothing."

I didn't have to see him to know who it was. Nobody's voice sent chills all the way to my bones. The King of Alderode had come back to finish the job. Before I could think about it I found I knife in my chest. What good was being a super soldier if it couldn't even save me from a knife.

I collapsed to the ground. Somebody's hands were already on my chest. I opened my eyes to see who. It was Hayden. How fitting that he was there for both sisters.

"Alissa! It's gonna be okay. Your okay. I can fix this. Just don't close your eyes!" He was saying frantically.

I took his hands in mine.

"Hayden....it's okay. You couldn't save her. And you can't save me. That's okay. Some people aren't worth saving."

He started yelling something as my eyes slipped closed. My entire life flashed before my eyes, and every single part disappointed me.

Living the life that I had lived was worse then dying. Maybe it was better this way.

~

To my greatest horror I didn't die. I woke up. With a burning pain in my chest. And a weight on my leg. I tried to sit up, but the motion shot daggers of pain through my entire body. The weight on my leg turned out to be Hayden.

I couldn't stop the tears from coming out of my eyes. I was a terrible person. And he was still here. I had ruined everything. And he was still here. I didn't deserve him.

He woke up with a jolt. I watched as he rubbed the fogginess from his eyes.

"Alissa! Holy Zwendale! I thought I lost you."

"I'm afraid I am very much still alive."

He pulled me into a tight hug. I gasped at the pain. He pulled back.

"Sorry! I forgot!"

"It's alright, Hayden."

He chose that moment to notice the tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong. You survived! You should be celebrating."

I couldn't look him in the eye. How could I tell him that it would have been better that I died.

"I am drowning. And I'm so scared I won't ever breath again."

I thought he would look at me with disgust. I thought he would get up and walk away. Because who needs someone like me? But he didn't. He stayed right where he was.

"When it feels like the world is crumbling around you, it is up to you weather or not you crumble with it."

"It's not the world that's crumbling. It's me."

"Alissa, If you ever find that you are drowning in your own thoughts, you only need to call my name. And I will come and save you. You are not broken. You are not crumbling. Let me help you." He said with tears on his eyes.

It was a strange feeling being cared about. The King and Queen had cared about me. Declan had cared. But that was a long time ago. It was nice. Hayden knew everything about me. And didn't hate me.