Too needy

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"Alex will you please just talk to me?" I plead.

"I am talking to you, Y/n, it's just not what you wanna hear." He argues.

I sit down on a chair in our hotel room, whist he stands watching me in the hotel dressing gown.

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense." I ask.

"You're so fucking needy." He shouts and my heart stops. "You're smothering me all of the time."

I go silent. I look down at the ground and stand up. Is that really what he thinks? Slowly, I make eye contact again.

"I'm...um... I'm sorry. I didn't realise you felt that way. I'll stop." I say softly.

"Fuck, that's not what I meant to say, baby. I'm just stressed. Don't listen to me. I'm sorry."

He makes a move towards me, but I take a step back.

"It's ok. I just wanna give you space." I say quietly.

His face falls at the realisation that he hurt me.

"I don't want space. Come 'ere." He beckons me, but I don't move.

He sighs and moves towards me, holding my waist in his hands. He pulls my body into his, but I stand straight.

"Cuddle me back."

I wrap my arms around him loosely.

"I think I'm just gonna go for a walk." I sigh.

"I'll come with you." He replies, nuzzling his face in my neck.

"No, it's fine. I'll be back later."

"But I want to come. I don't want you to be alone." He argues.

"I don't want you to feel smothered, Al. I'll go alone and I'll be back. I won't be long. I just want to be alone for a little bit and I think I need to leave you alone for a while too." I explain.

"No-"

I place my finger to his lips, silencing him. I reach up and push my lips to his warm cheek, closing my eyes and lingering for a while. I put on my coat and he watches me in silence.

"I love you." He says, desperately.

"I love you too." I reply, without hesitation.

I leave after that and walk around the unfamiliar streets of the city we're in.

I walk back into the hotel about five hours later. It's late now. I bumped into somebody that I used to know and we went to dinner together. I step into the lift and press the button for the floor that we're all staying on. I accidentally left my phone in the hotel, so I haven't spoken to Alex for a long time. The doors open and I step out. I notice one of the doors is wide open. The voices of my friends can be heard. I walk into the room and say hello to everyone. Alex is nowhere to be seen.

"There you are!" Miles exclaims.

"Where's Alex?" I ask.

"He's in your room I think. He just got back from looking for you. He's been worried sick. Shouting about how he's ruined everything. " Miles replies.

"Oh. I left my phone here by accident. I did tell him I was going out."

"He's been going mad, Y/n. I tried to calm him down, but he just screamed at me." Miles explains.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I just needed to leave for a bit."

"Yeah he told me what he said to you. That was really shitty of him. I'm sorry."

"No no, it's ok. Maybe I was just being a bit too full on. Anyway, I better go and tell him I'm back."

Miles wishes me luck and I leave. I knock softly on our hotel door. It swings open almost immediately, revealing an angry looking Alex. His face softens when he sees me.

"Hello." I say.

"Come in, please?" He pleads.

I nod and step inside. I slide off my coat and he takes it, hanging it up for me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Where 'ave you been?" He asks, gently.

"I was walking around and I bumped into a friend. Me and her went and had some dinner. I'm so sorry, I forgot my phone. I shouldn't have let you worry like that." I apologise.

"It's ok, baby. I deserve it. I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't 'ave. It's not how I feel at all. I love when you're needy towards me. I love you being dependent on me like I am on you. I was being really unfair and untruthful."

"It's alright. I probably should be less clingy towards you. It's not your fault. I just would've rather you just told me instead of shouting." I reply, sitting on the bed as he sits next to me.

He takes my hands in his.

"You're not listening to me. I told you that I do want that."

"It's fine, Alex, you don't have to say that. Can we please just get in bed? Have you eaten?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Order yourself room service."

"I'm not hungry." He argues.

"You have to eat Alex. How many cigarettes have you had since I left?" I question him, as I spot all of the cigarette butts.

"A lot." He sighs, moving closer and holding onto me.

"Come on. Please eat something?" I plead. "For me?"

"Ok I will."

He orders himself some food, eats it and we climb into bed. I don't make a move to cuddle him, so he frowns at me. He opens his arms and I slide into them. His fingers run up and down my back and his forehead rests against mine.

"I will never say anything about you being needy again. It's torture having you not come to me straight away and you not wanting me how I want you."

"I do want you. I just didn't wanna be clingy after you shouted at me. You hurt my heart." I reply honestly, as I'm half asleep.

"I'm sorry. I love you wanting me. I never want you to feel that I don't want you back. 'Cause trust me, my darlin', I do."

"Ok I'll be needy again." I sigh.

"Thank god."

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