Ms. Jones, You're My Trigger (GxG)

Chapter 31

"Hey... come eat," Vanessa called me from the table when I entered the living room.

Not wanting to be rude I sat down and looked at the plate in front of me. I gulped as I began feeling nervous, she made me a nice plate of pancakes, but my mind wasn't letting me enjoy it. I didn't want her to think I was being picky or unappreciative of her efforts, so I decided to take a bite.

I was about to push myself into taking another one, but Vanessa called my name and grabbed my hand preventing me from eating any further.

I furrowed my brows, unhappy with myself. She must have realized something was wrong and was going to think badly of me...

However, before I knew she got up from her chair and knelt right in front of me, with her hands resting on my thighs. She searched my eyes so intensely, I felt completely exposed – yet I didn't stop her.

"Please tell me what's wrong..." she began and bit her lip, taking a couple of seconds before continuing her speech. "It hurts me to know that I'm doing something wrong and causing you to push yourself for no reason. I won't be able to do it correctly if you won't tell me what I'm supposed to do babygirl." She looked so sad and hurt - I never expected her to care this much about me...

I groaned internally only just registering the way she called me. This woman could make me go from peaceful to anxious to the happiest I've ever been within minutes. How is that even possible?! I tried to regain my focus, Vanessa was serious, and I didn't want her to think I didn't take her words to heart.

"It's the b-b-breakfast, I only eat it at a v-very specific time and it's always the same t-t-thing..." I almost whispered the last words from embarrassment.

"Is it like that for all of your meals?" she asked further without blinking an eye.

I tried to pick on my fingers, but she prevented me from doing so, awaiting the answer. "No... only breakfast is, h-h-however lunch I must eat at the scheduled time as well." I admitted quietly.

"Alright, we will talk about this more, but for now please tell me what is it that you eat for breakfast?"

I took a minute analyzing whether I should tell her the truth or ease it up to not sound like a weirdo.

Deciding there was no point complicating things any further, I spoke up, "Peeled apple ch...chopped into four perfect p-p-pieces, cinnamon porridge and a glass of w-water."

Vanessa's eyes dilated, but she smiled warmly and gave my hand a light squeeze.

"Okay, alright," she cleared her throat and got up. "We can do that, would you eat it now, even if it's ten in the morning?" She wondered as she walked towards the kitchen cabinet.

"Mhm..." I nodded still ashamed of myself.

"That day at Mr. Clark's office, was it because you missed your mealtime?" she questioned all of the sudden as she prepared the porridge.

Leaning against the kitchen counter I sighed at the awful memory. That day if she hasn't brought me the salad it could have been so much worse.

"Yes," I answered shamefully.

"I see... So, how come you are this calm if you don't mind me asking?" I could hear the hesitance in her voice, she didn't want to push too far, but most likely curiosity took over.

Why wasn't I freaking out indeed? Was it really just because of Vanessa? Or maybe there was a slight possibility that I began taking more control over myself and my own behaviors. In the past few months, I've done so many things that I would have never even consider doing. I spoke to strangers, I felt more comfortable around people, I began thinking more towards the future, as if it was possible for me to actually have it.