Voh Meri Rajkumari Hai

Behind Love Is A Deep Secret ~ Part One

Warning:. Mentions of self harm, drug dealing, bomb explosion and suicidal thoughts in this chapter. Read at your own risk!!

3:30am

Priya firmly pressed the razor on an empty patch of skin on her wrist. She saw all the other scars, some recent red ones and other pink healing ones. Each told a story of all the pain and torture she endured.

She began moving the razor in a harsh and torturous way, moving the razor around her skin, letting it do its torturous magic. As the razor moved, tears started rolling down her rosy cheeks at the pain that oozed out with the ruby red blood.

Priya woke up after two hours because she couldn't sleep. After Prem told her that she has a police interview regarding the bomb explosion, her mind was haunting her about it. It kept replaying the event on repeat, the traumatising sound and the dangerous sight kept making her tremble and want to kill herself. So she cane to the bathroom to slit her wrist. She was craving the pain. It was the only thing she could control. And she felt that she deserved the pain, because of all the mental and physical pain she felt. If she was facing more and more problems, what was the point in living?

You're a scar to the earth. Worthless, pathetic, weak and a burden to Prem. So just kill yourself and you will be out of Prem's life - her mind haunted her.

Priya, stop torturing and hurting yourself. This isn't right. Prem loves you so much and is helping you through this. Think of how he will feel if he found out you were torturing yourself. Her heart told her.

After a few long minutes of cutting two scars, she got tissues to dab at the blood and wipe it. Once it stopped bleeding, she flushed the tissues away.

Suddenly, a loud bang was heard, making Priya jump and wince. She dropped the razor on the sink, making it clank and blood stain the basin. She felt tears gather in her eyes, thinking of the worst possible scenarios of where and what the sound was. It reminded her of the loud bomb explosion sound.

Priya left the blood covered razor on the basin, without washing it.

She left the bathroom, being met with the dark hallway. The whole house were asleep and Priya quickly tip toed back to her room. When she came in, she was again met with darkness, with the moonlight shining through the closed curtains of the balcony towards her sister and lover.

Priya needed some fresh air. So she walked to the balcony doors. She opened one curtain, opened the balcony door and stepped out in the night sky. She shut the door behind her. She walked over closer to the porch, placing her elbows on the balcony and staring up at the moonlight sky. The balcony lights were on, so she wasn't too scared. The night breeze blew against her hair, making it flow gracefully.

Priya worried about what would happen in the interview. She didn't want to be reminded of the bomb explosion, because it would tear her apart. She did not know what would happen afterwards. Would Rita make things worse for her? She didn't even know who planted the time ticking bomb. Her heart was telling it was Rita, but she couldn't just make such an accusation without proof.

Her life was getting worse day by day. She didn't know what to do with herself anymore. Everyday when she cut her wrist, she wanted to kill herself. But she never ended up dying. She wanted to die because Rita was trying to kill her, so why couldn't Priya make it easier for everyone by killing herself? She caused a lot of damage and she didn't know whether it would be fixed. So the only way was an attempt to try kill herself.

Keep killing yourself, worthless person - her mind haunted her.

No, this isn't right Priya. Killing yourself will only bring pain to others like Prem, who loves and adores you. Her heart told her.