DOORWAYS || MARAUDERS ERA

ϟ21: LETTERS (PART II)ϟ

Deer Evans,

I'm wounded that you think I've got a non-existent brain. How else can I think of such lovely puns and jokes? I've got a well-functioning brain, thank you very much.

'Turn Potter bald'? Wow, Evans, what happened to you? Did you suffer a brain damage like me too? Or was it your intense dislike for Jamsie speaking such aggressive things? James thinks you've turned BARKING mad.

The puns, Evans, are inside jokes, which you can never begin to understand. And if I was in a farm, Evans, you would know, because I would have sent you a million pictures of myself dressed as a shepherd. A sight to anticipate, eh?

Homework and essays have nothing to do with my nature-loving self, Evans! I'm a very concerned global citizen of the world. Deforestation is caused by both Wizards and Muggles! So both parties are responsible for world destruction! I wouldn't be surprised if the world ended in five years!

Prongs is James, by the way.

With best wishes from the best prankster,

Sirius Black

P.S: Sarcasm and hostility simply oozed from your letter, Evans. I've trained you well. And, I know this is a random question but—do you like deer? Specifically, stags?

╔═══*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═══╗

Sirius, James and Rhea

╚═══*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═══╝

Deer Rhea Cadieux,

We may not be on the best of terms right now, but we can handle a few letters, right? Luna told Sirius in her previous letter that you've been keeping in touch with Remus, and if you're wondering how I know that, Sirius is at my place for Christmas. And if you keep in touch with one of us, you keep in touch with all of us. So, here we are.

Those Zonko products came real handy, thank you for that. We've been having a sort of a competition out here—to see whose pranks are the most notorious of all. Since we, regretfully, cannot use magic out of school, the Prank War wasn't as... horrible as it would have been at Hogwarts. Sirius now resembles Filch, and he has (reluctantly) admitted defeat. 

He put up a good fight, though. I've got pink hair, a ridiculous hair cut (blame Evans for that, she unintentionally gave Padfoot an idea) and disgusting fungi growing out of my nails. I have no idea why, but my hair regrew within an hour, and I swear I didn't use any magic to do so.

I've got a question, though. You gave Sirius a muggle device. What exactly is that? He's been trying to find out how it works, and I'm afraid any more fiddling can break it (why are muggle objects so fragile?). I know you gave him a radio, but there are other rectangular things that came along with it. We know how to operate the radio, but where do we insert these rectangular things?

I hope you'll answer us as soon as you get the letter—Sirius is barking mad with frustration. He thinks he is an expert on muggle things, and if he fails to understand muggle devices, he takes it as a personal offence. You do understand how dangerous it is to have Sirius frustrated?

Please write back immediately or Sirius might use magic on the radio and he'll get into trouble.

Sincerely,

James Potter

P.S: There's some thread coming out of the rectangular things. Is that normal?