Double M is My Man

~ 16 ~

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

The cold afternoon winter air sends a bothering shiver down my throat, practically making my lungs freeze. I have lost all feeling in my bum from the frosty metal bench. I hope my jeans don't accidentally rip off when I'll be attempting to stand up.

That would sure be awkward.

"I really wanted to tell you this for a really long time but I was scared of what your reaction might be."

"It's alright. You can tell me."

This weather is starting to make me wish I bought a hot chocolate at the Starbucks I passed a while ago. Why did I not want to stand in the stores long line? At least that way I would have warmed up but nope, my brain thinks a little differently. Knowing I'm very impatient when it comes to line ups, my brain automatically commanded my body to continue to walk away from the warm Starbucks and its addicting beverages.

Thank you brain, thank you.

"I'm not actually a woman."

Whoa!

Excuse me?

Did I overhear that correctly?

I stare at the couple sitting on the same freezing bench as me. The same couple that decided to sit on this particular bench out of all the other thousands of benches in central park, completely ignoring the high school girl with her big framed glasses and short hair covered all up by her toque who was on the brink of having a major breakdown. Instead of giving the girl some space, they decided to get all lovey-dovey right beside me.

I tried to tune them out as best as I could but that turned out to be a great failure.

I mean how in the whole entire universe can the woman sitting beside me be a man?! Her (or his) boyfriend seems to share the same reaction as me because I don't think he has blinked this past minute and I don’t blame him!

His girlfriend/boyfriend looks one hundred percent female. Even from the moment they intervened on my bench with my eyes clouded in tears, I could tell the woman was beautiful. Her long flawless hair extended almost all the way to her hip in loose curls of her petite body. She has the classic big blue eyes, emphasized by light eye shadow and black eyeliner. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and her lips are a deep red.

How can she be a man?!

This man must be extremely talented in the art of cross dressing because he sure fooled his boyfriend who is still currently trying to process all of this.

"Eh?" The poor guy can barely utter a single sound, let alone a word.

His girlfriend/boyfriend starts to whimper. "I knew it. You hate me now."

The sad words seemed to snap the shocked man out of his trance because he immediately began to soothe his girlfriend/boyfriend. "Shh, baby don't cry. I'm still in love with you, regardless of your sex."

"Really?"

"Really, love."

And then I was plunged into the realm of awkwardness while the couple beside me began to make out in happiness. Lion King 2's song 'Upendi' would have been great right about now. I'm glad that they managed to solve this predicament so fast but still, should I relocate to another bench so I can deal with my own dilemma?

I didn't even realize that I was a leaning as far away from the couple as physically possible until my numb bum slid off the bench and to the even colder, snow cover ground.