Driving Mr. Bane

Chapter 35

"you were gone a while, are you okay?"

Alec was standing right outside the bathroom when Jonathan walked out. For a second, he thanked the lord that Alec hadn't walked in on him. That would have been awkward. Or maybe not... Maybe he joined him. Had taken over. The thought sent Jonathans blood straight to his dick. Jonathan bit his lips to prevent himself from moaning and pulled himself together before he answered.

"yeah. I'm fine." Sending Alec his best smile, Jonathan looped his arm in Alec's and guided him away from the bathroom. "so, who did you want me to meet?"

With a smile, Alec guided him towards the table where Magnus and his friends were.

"This is Magnus. He is my boyfriend. The love of my life. Magnus this is Jonathan."

"Wow. Oh wow. You found him. Hi, I'm Magnus. It is such a pleasure to finally meet you." Magnus extended his hand to Jonathan, but the young man didn't take it. He only stared at it for a while, before shifting his gaze to Alec.

"You have a boyfriend? A boyfriend?!" Jonathan tore his arm away from Alec. "No! you were supposed to love ME! I'M THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!" Spinning around on the spot, Jonathan ran out of the club.

"Jon, Wait!" Alec watched helpless as Jonathan disappeared.

"oh, darling. I'm so sorry." Magnus wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist.

"I can't believe he ran out... I thought that I could..." Alec closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. "did I just make everything worse?"

"I don't know Alec. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you everything will be fine, but it is clear that he is a troubled man." Magnus stood on his tiptoes and placed a comforting kiss on alecs lips. "let's go look for him. Maybe we can talk him down."

Alec nodded without a word. The guilt and shame were almost to much for him to bear.

Outside, the two men decided to split up. Cover more grounds as they searched for Jonathan. Alec knew it was a lost cause. Jonathan was probably long gone by now, and Alec had no way of finding him again. He probably wouldn't ever come back to the club now.

Alec looked down every street and peeked into every corner just to see if he was hiding in the shadows, but he was nowhere to be found.

Magnus didn't have much luck either.  He searched the streets and asked around with doormen to every club. No one had seen him. And the way he was dressed, people outside the club was bound to notice him.

Taking a deep breath, magnus tried to out himself into Jonathans shoes. He was a young man who had never experienced love. He was alone. Had no one to go to. And he had just lost the one man he had ever loved. Maybe even forever.

Suddenly Magnus realized where Jonathan could have gone. Magnus had experienced firsthand how it had been to lose Alec. He had drowned himself in decadence. Sex, booze and strangers. Which seemed to be what Jonathan had been doing too. For years. And if Magnus had t be honest with himself, he knew where he would be, had it been him that had lost Alec for years, only to find him again and then come to learn that he was happily in love with someone else. He would have considered to end his life. To stop the pain from losing the love of his life. He would like to think that he would never go through with it. His friends and family would help him get over the pain, but Jonathan had no one to pull him back from that edge. Magnus had no doubt that Jonathan was considering suicide at this very moment. But how? And where?

I couldn't be with a gun. It wasn't likely that Jonathan had a gun. It wouldn't be painkillers, since Alec had told Magnus that Jonathan liked pain.

The safest bet was hat he would be a jumper. Or a cutter. But since it wasn't all that easy to get a razor here at night, Magnus went with the jumper-theory. And he knew exactly where most people went, when they wanted to jump of a ledge.

Magnus rapidly wrote Alec a text on his theory, and then raced towards the bridge.

----

The wind was cold, but it didn't bother him that much. Why should he care about it being cold? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Alec didn't love him. His entire life had been a lie. His parents had been right. He was worth nothing. No one could ever love him! He was garbage. A waste of space!

Tears began to run down his face as he took a step closer to the edge. The water beneath him almost look like salvation in Jonathans eyes. He would never have to get out of bed again. The pain would stop. The humiliation would stop. And since he didn't believe in heaven or hell, he didn't fear death. It wasn't like there was an afterlife. Just nothing. Glorious, glorious nothing.

"Jonathan don't."

A voice behind Jonathan stopped him in stepping over the ledge. He looked over his shoulder and was shocked to see Alec's boyfriend standing a few feet away.

"Don't come any closer!"

"I won't. Just listen to me. You don't have to do this."

"What do you care?! I'm no one to you!" Jonathan screamed.

"You are not no one. You are important to Alec, so you are important to me."

Jonathan twisted around, glaring at Magnus.

"You are lying! He doesn't care!" sniffling, Jonathan whipped away his tears and screamed at Magnus once more. "you have everything! I have nothing!"

Crying he turned back around. Looking down at the water beneath the bridge.

"It's not true. You have Alec's love too. HE loves you!"

"Lier..." Jonathan whispered. He had no more fight in him.

"I'm not lying. I promise. He loves you. He told me so. He will always love you."

"its true, Jon." Alec turned up behind Magnus, panting heavily form running. "I do love you. Please, don't do this to me. I can't lose you like this."

"you love me?" Jonathan turned around slowly. "Is it true...? Do you really love me?"

"yea of course, Jon. Please come down, so we can talk about this. Please. I'm begging you."

"you love me..." Jonathan whispered the words as his legs gave in and he nearly felt over the edge of the bridge. Alec was there in a flash. Ripping Jonathan away form the edge before wrapping his arms around the cold young man. He was starting to turn blue from the cold wind on his naked skin.

"I do..." Alec held Jonathan tight, rocking him in his arms. "I love you..."