Affixed |Kylo Ren x Reader|

~Sacrifice~

TW--implied/threats of/mentions of rape

The Reaper was  right on course to Coruscant, set to see the planet's surface in under  an hour. The swirling abyss of Hyperspace had been it's home for the  past few hours now and the ongoing hum of the engine was beginning to  take its toll. It was fortunate that the ship had a new Hyperdrive and a fresh intake of fuel for the trip.

Lani had overseen all of  the preparations herself. She liked to know exactly what was happening  with her ship but she also knew just how important this mission was.  There was no room for error. All of the girls had been packed around  Vami for the majority of the trip, watching her demonstrate the plan for  the fifteenth time. It was of utmost importance that everything went accordingly.

As the ship draws closer  to its destination, the pre-mission jitters begin to set in. The girls  usually broke apart to do their own little rituals to attempt to calm  themselves. Krina and Myri always liked to polish their Blasters until  there were spotless. Lani would sit in the cockpit or pace around the  ship looking for things to fix. Vami shut herself into her quarters to  stare at the plan.

And you?

You were nervous. More  nervous than you had ever been for a mission. It was one thing fighting a  handful of slavers to free the shipment, but it was another to take on  Gido face to face. You told yourself that Gido was what was making you  nervous. In reality, that honor went to whatever threat had been  haunting you.

The girls had been right: the chances that the Reaper touched down in remotely the same district were slim. However the very idea of being on the same planet as  this being who was intending to cause you so much pain made your skin  crawl. People could always seem find you if they wanted to. They always  got what they wanted in the end and you got hurt. That's how the cycle  went.

That's how it went with Kylo, anyways.

His words from that day  on the rock echo through your mind. They haunted you day in and day out.  Would you ever see him again? You hoped not. You were unsure if you  could ever face him again after what he had done to you that dreadful  day.

You wanted to believe he  had been lying to you. Every fiber of your being hated the fact that  you loathed him. You hated hating him. You had no idea that it was  possible for your heart to be torn in two directions. One side ripping  you towards hatred and the other pulling you towards longing. If you  could have changed any day, it would be that one. Perhaps then  you wouldn't be sitting in the Reaper. Perhaps you would be living with  Kylo on Naboo or traveling the galaxy with him like he had always  planned.

Then these girls would still be wearing chains, you  remind yourself with a heavy heart. To fulfill your purpose here, you  would have to sacrifice your dream. It was just a silly dream, after  all.

"Hey, you," Lani's voice  snaps you out of your daze. She approaches you with a sad smile. "I  just wanted to let you know that we're going to make the jump soon. How  are you holding up?"

You sigh, running your fingers through your hair. "Not so great. I keep thinking about it."

She frowns. "The chances that your feelings are right-"

"You don't know the Force like I do!" You burst. "You don't know what it's like. Whatever this thing is... it will find  us and when it does, there's no going back. It wants to find me. It-It  was determined enough to push the Force connection. Whatever it wants,  it'll get."