Affixed |Kylo Ren x Reader|

~Restless~

Your entire night was spent tossing and turning in the massive bed. Legs tangling in the silk sheets, covers rumpled, and pillow twisting out of place beneath your head over and over until you were about to scream. It was frustrating enough knowing that Kylo was awake just two doors down. If he was even awake. The bastard hadn't seemed to lose any sleep over leaving you behind, so he was probably off having dreams about anything other than you.

Still, as you laid in the darkness staring up at the ceiling, you couldn't help but think back to nights spent on the Supremacy or the Finalizer. Sometimes you wouldn't be able to sleep and you could sense Kylo's restlessness. You would slip out of your quarters and scurry down the corridor before anyone saw. Kylo would sit up in bed upon hearing his door open and give you the smallest of smiles, before scooting aside to make room. Curling up against him before slowly falling asleep was an experience that could never be replaced.

Now you couldn't sense anything. Kylo had closed himself off from you and from your bond. Perhaps that was for the best. You didn't know if you could live with not feeling his adoration through the Force. There was a sort of emptiness there now, like a cavity in your chest that wouldn't stop growing. And it hurt. It was nearly as painful as believing that he was dead. Now that the two of you had been reunited, is was almost as painful knowing he was so close yet so far.

Groaning softly as you glance at the clock sitting beside your bed, you notice that the sun was going to come up soon.

0630

The night be coming to an end soon. There was no point in attempting to wait for the sleep that would never arrive. You push back your blanket and rise from the bed, quietly creeping towards the dresser. Gently tugging open the drawer, your eyes settle upon the folded clothes within them. Of course he remembered what your size was. He remembered what you liked, what you didn't like, what you plainly refused to wear. As you sift through the piles of shirts, tank tops, and even bras, your fingers meet the soft fabric of something familiar.

You lift the black shirt up, at once recognizing that it was Kylo's. It even smelled like him. A lump in your throat begins to form almost immediately. You blink back the tears and practically fling the shirt back onto the ground, slamming the drawer shut. As you storm out of the room, you tug a black sweater over your head and shiver. Coruscant was always cold in the mornings. It was nothing a cup of steaming coffee couldn't fix.

The smell of coffee suddenly hits your nose, causing you to freeze at the mouth of the curved hallway. Kylo was already leaning against the counter in the darkness of the kitchen, standing beneath one light that shone down on him. He was staring blankly down at the cup of caf, as though he was waiting for it to start doing tricks. Oh, and the bastard was shirtless.

You try to back away slowly, but something must have given you away. Kylo's head shoots up, a frown tugging at his lips. He quickly straightens up upon seeing you.

"Oh... I didn't think you would be awake..." he trails off uncertainly.

You couldn't stop staring at him. It was like nothing had changed. Memories of waking up beside him come flooding back to you. His head of morning hair was messy and wild, just how you had adored it. The tips of his ears were just barely poking out between the unruly tufts. There were marks on his bare chest from an apparently restless night of sleep and his lips were swollen.

Then returned the memories you had tried to suppress. The screaming matches you would have at the top of your lungs, the bickering, the jealousy, the hate. A constant back and forth about what he had done to you. Your heart pangs at the memory of Xian; a man so innocent in all of this that he hadn't even lasted a minute within meeting Kylo. Foolishly hooking up with a Stormtrooper that betrayed you, Hux keeping secrets, Kylo fucking his secretary over his desk. Syala. The trip to Sarka and Vandor. All of it led back to the events of the Supremacy; when you had seen it implode in bright flame.