Ryker's Guide (Spicy)

Candor

Daryl was staring at his glass, his expression far more serious, far darker than Carbry had seen it before. "Meriwa and Sam really were my only friends here."

"But we pulled you into our family here, Daryl. Everyone here feels more strongly about you than you being an amusing distraction. It's beyond just your attachment." Carbry stopped talking as Daryl shook his head stubbornly. Raising a brow, he pushed. "You're angry with me."

"Logically, no. I would be an asshole if I were angry at you." Daryl whispered softly, glancing toward the door. The only person who really pushed Daryl to go beyond that surface level of congeniality was Ryker. And Carbry had heard the cowboy bark back just as much as the vampire did.

So Carbry pushed. Because he couldn't leave it, he couldn't just let Daryl keep harbouring whatever pain he had. "No. Why are you angry with me?"

"I'm not actively angry with you." Daryl shook his head again, still holding himself under control, though his jaw clenched, his voice trembled and Carbry could see his teeth sharpen a little bit. He was close.

"Stop it with the fucking bullshit. What the hell is your problem?" Carbry growled, summoning an angry tone in his voice, despite wanting to do nothing more than pull the man into a hug.

The tone usually caused Daryl a tremor of fear or reconsider his argument or shocked him long enough that he regained a level of calm. But today it had the exact effect Carbry was hoping for.

"I lost Meriwa too!" Daryl snapped, whirling to face Carbry with a voice that cracked with more emotions than just anger. The words hit the vampire hard, halting any reaction as he took in the raw pain in the man's expression. "I nearly killed a man because of how much that hurt! And Sam lost her too and had already lost Urdu! And all those things that ended up coming out, they pulled even Sam away from me! I couldn't ask for anyone's comfort, I couldn't claim that my loss meant anything compared to yours! And Ryker was hurting, it broke him cause he blamed himself, still blames himself, for everything that happened. But he didn't turn to me, he became obsessed with you."

Daryl shook his head and glanced at the ceiling, flinching the moment Carbry moved. "I can't compare my loss to yours. I'm not trying to. As I said, this... is selfishness, but you asked. When Knight Corp was hurting, it closed ranks and prepared for war, but I was left on the outside. Sure, I could walk into the building, but even in that, I was a distraction that nobody needed. I asked... I asked Ryker once... for his time. And he told me that you needed him. I didn't disagree, I didn't try to stop him from that. But at the suggestion that perhaps I could also help, he told me that he would not rub what he had, in your face. So I lost Ryker too. And Sam tried, but nothing was the same and everything was different and I wasn't.... A part of all the big stuff that was going on. And then I saw my good friend almost die, and even when he was some place I could possibly see him... he... started falling in love with the man I still wanted to murder, in ways I had never harboured hate before in my life."

At some point, Daryl had started crying, and Carbry wracked his brain to remember if he had ever seen Daryl cry before. Surely he had. Though the period of time that the cowboy was talking about, Carbry couldn't honestly say he remembered where Daryl had been through most of it. He had been drowning in his grief, or in whiskey, or in the despair that had controlled him for all those dark months.

Daryl turned from him, the shake of his head more to clear the man's mind than to object to anything. "I'm sorry. Now I've ruined everything. I know... all that, I'm an asshole. I shouldn't have said anything."

One thing Carbry had learned from watching Ryker's relationship with Daryl, was that the man would fight, then detach. Carbry was moving before Daryl finished taking the first step toward the door, putting himself in front of the cowboy and pulling him into his arms. "You ruined nothing, Daryl."

There was a moment of tension, when Carbry half debated if he would let the man pull away or not. Then Daryl slid his arms around his waist and accepted the embrace. "I'm not...I don't..."

"I know." Carbry held him, guiding the two of them over to the couch and veritably pulling the other man down onto his lap. Daryl was tall, lanky, like cowboys were, solid muscle but not the same massive bulk that he and Ryker had. "But don't apologize. Everything you said... all of it, none of it is selfish. Grief is isolating, and I was so wrapped up into my pain, I let everything go. My people picked up my slack, but we missed things. They shouldn't have been. And nothing I can say can ever take any of that back... we stumbled and failed you, Daryl. And I can't fathom how you made it through all that."

The man's face was buried into Carbry's neck, and it was then that he felt the soft brush of fur covered ears against his skin. He nuzzled against Daryl's temple and ran his hands up and down the man's back, pausing to slip his hand into the back of the cowboy's pants to tug out the long, fluffy white tail that was suddenly there.

"It is more than just Meriwa's friendship and attraction to you. More than just Ryker's soul wrenching love for you, that has me caring for you, Daryl. I know there's a lot that you don't let other people see. You aren't an idiot hick cowboy. I've fucked people for the pure carnal pleasure of it, with no personal intimacy. That... is not you and I. " Carbry murmured softly when Daryl had stilled, though remained quiet. "For one, you're the only one who truly appreciates Whiskey like I do."

"You've surrounded yourself with heathens." Daryl muttered, before pulling back enough that he could look at the vampire, though Carbry didn't let him move much further than that. The man had sharp teeth and his features were starting to look almost feline. Carbry wanted to ask where Daryl had come across a snow leopard shifter, but wasn't sure he wanted the answer. "You're not angry?"

"I'm angry at myself." Carbry murmured softly, letting one hand stroke along that tail of Daryl's, finding himself relaxing into the rumbling purr that was coming from the cowboy's chest. His other hand ran up to run through his hair, which was a deliciously soft combination between fur and human hair. "I'm angry at you for holding this in, for thinking you needed to."

"You didn't need to worry about me..." Daryl shook his head, though his eyes were closed, his expression getting a serene look to it.

Carbry grinned and kissed him teasingly, though he bit the man's lower lip gently. "And we're going to address this with the others." He kissed him harder, growling. "No secrets, Daryl. It'll hurt them more not to know, then to know."

The cowboy shifted closer to him, deepening the kiss and running his hands up to unbutton Carbry's shirt, drawing a chuckle out of the vampire, though he didn't stop the man. "I know what you're doing."

"Shh..." Daryl grinned and finished undoing the shirt, moving to push it off over Carbry's shoulders. When Carbry didn't help, Daryl merely smirked and tugged off his own t-shirt, shifting to fully straddle Carbry's lap. "This always works."

With a sigh, despite the grin tugging on his lips, Carbry obliged and shrugged himself out of his dress shirt. "I play along."

This time, it was the cowboy who nipped him on the throat and hard enough to draw blood, which caused Carbry's body to arch in pleasure, his hands dropping to the man's belt buckle and starting to undo it. It was the feel of that ribbed, textured tongue running over his skin was enough to send Carbry cursing in several languages, fighting desperately for control.