The Cure To My Pain ✔️

38. Lie

Yesterday after all of the fiasco, I was angry. More at myself than at anyone. Yesterday was a hard day, my dad's seventh death anniversary. All the years which went by it became just a little less painful. Everything was okay until I saw her, looking happy. She gets to fucking walk this Earth with a smile and the man who tried saving her is 6 feet under the ground.

This world is unfair.

I couldn't help myself but lose it. A few years before I didn't know any better. I bullied her, hurt her because she deserved it. But as I grew up, I realised my dad didn't wanted me to grow up like this. He wouldn't want me to hurt people, even when they deserved it. So I stopped hurting her physically, to some extent. But that did not mean I wanted her to live peacefully. I wanted the satisfaction of seeing her in pain, even when it wasn't physical.

Dad won't be proud, but I'm not exactly sorry either.

When I got out of the house, I drove to the main base. We got many spare rooms here but not everyone is allowed. All the important business is done in this place and they couldn't risk that shit. I'm always here, because after all of these years I still don't like people and this is the best place to be free of them. Everyone minds there own god damn business.

I reach Declan's office and enter it without knocking. He is expecting me anyway. I am surprised to be met by Rob as well. I don't like him one bit. Bitch is always gloating about his wealth. He is a piece of shit.

Declan immediately turns around and glares at me,"What the fuck did you do?"

I raise an eyebrow,"The fuck are you talking about?"

He slams his fist on his desk and yells angrily,"You don't know what I'm talking about!? You almost killed Lee yesterday!"

I give an unimpressed shrug,"Exactly, almost."

He grits his teeth,"You don't know how fucking important she is right now-".

"Then fucking tell me!" I yell at his face,"What's with her? You hate her the most but you want her safe and sound?"

"That's none of your fucking business. Just know that if she doesn't make it, I'm going to kill you," he seethes.

I narrow my eyes at him,"So, she's more important to you than me. Has she always?"

"Yes. She is the one surviving for free, isn't she?" he smirks.

"If you think I don't know about the papers, you are wrong," his smirk falls off at my words,"And you know, it won't take me much time to find out what they are about."

He takes in a huge breath and glares at me,"You won't do no such thing."

I give him a scowl,"I'm not a kid anymore Declan and neither am I Lee to do as you say. I had no problem with whatever you wanted do to her, as long as I got to do whatever I want! If you fuck with me, I fuck with you too."

He lunges at me but Rob comes in between and holds him back,"Shut up! I should've killed you, just like your Dad!"

"That's enough Declan!" Rob shouts and turns to me,"Percy, get the hell out."

I frown,"What the fuck did he just say?"

Rob scoffs and pulls out his gun from his pants. Aiming at me he says,"Get out, right now."

I eye the gun and turn around. With my heart beating erratically I walk out of the room and run a hand through my hair.

I should've killed you, just like your Dad.

Just like my dad, just like my dad, just like my dad.

What did that mean? Cut the bullshit, I know exactly what that means.

I punch my fist on the wall and scream,"Fuck!"

No, no, no. It was just a slip of tongue. No, my whole life can't be a lie.

I breath heavily and try to calm down. There is just one person who can help me with this. Carson, my dad's old friend. The only one I knew. He doesn't work for the gang anymore but being one of the old members, he lives here with the rest of them. I never asked him about what happened to my dad, beacuse I thought what I heard from others was true.

I don't know anymore.

I walk to the celler downstairs and pick up two bottles of vodka. That will make him speak. When I reach his room, I enter it without knocking.

Startled, he looks up from his magazine and looks shocked to see me,"What brings you here, Percy? After so much time."

I show him the bottles,"I was just remembering Dad after yesterday. Thought we could remeber him together."

He gives me a sad and understanding smile,"Sure, why not?"

And we do remember, a lot of things. Some unbelievable, some unimaginable. From where it started to how it ended, or where it didn't. After everything was said and I was left with disbelieve. I went out to do something right in my life. Because now I realised,

My life is indeed a big fat fucking lie.

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