Reflection | PJM

30| containment

With Jimin back, you have someone to split household responsibilities with.

Although, you don't mind cooking for him and tending to his needs.

He spends much of his time at home since he's taking a rest after his tour. You love how available he is to you, and the sex every night has been great.

As you develop a daily routine with him, you can't help but feel like you're playing house.

Each day that passes, you feel like you can't live without him. He brings you so much happiness.

You've tried to confront your feelings and convince yourself that it's just a "friends with benefits" type of relationship gone a bit too far.

But you eventually can't deny the fact that it's more than that. You're utterly in love with him, and you worry that it's one-sided.

Knowing that Namjoon will be back in a few weeks, you make a decision to focus on repairing that relationship. You consider telling Jimin you want to move out.

He's curled up in a chair by the balcony, reading a novel. His messy hair looks like he hasn't brushed it since he woke up. You tap his shoulder.

"Y/N," he smiles at you.

You sit on the arm of the chair. "I've had some thoughts lately."

He looks to you with a childlike expression, waiting for you to explain.

"I think it's time I move out. I can afford my own rent now."

He puts the novel down and envelops your hands in his. "I want you here," he says.

You give him an encouraging smile and pat his back. "I can't play house forever. We both know the kind of dancing profession we're pursuing involves traveling to different places, sometimes far away, and it's less messy if I just have my own place."

He lets you finish speaking but still shakes his head in protest.

You want to ask him if your relationship is more than just friends with benefits. But you also want to make sure there's no chance left with Namjoon before you move on.

So, you keep your mouth closed.

He asks why you want to move out when things have been going so well. Because I love you and I don't think you feel the same, you think to yourself. But you don't say this.

"I'll just look into a few apartments. Who knows, I might not sign any leases if I don't like them."

"I hope you hate all the apartments," he says half-jokingly.

Now that that's off your chest, you change the topic and ask for his help with making dinner.

He agrees and washes vegetables in the sink while you marinate meat.

He does little things like brushing his fingers on your hand and kissing your head when you're not expecting it. He stands close behind you to observe what you're doing.

Does he know these little habits drive you crazy?

You try to focus on the meal being prepped and replace thoughts of Jimin with thoughts of Namjoon.

Maybe when you see Namjoon again you'll get that "home" feeling you always seem to get when you see Jimin...

Maybe.