Reflection | PJM

7| unwinding

You enter your apartment and study the room for a minute. The living space is practically untouched.

You don't spend much time here. To the left, the kitchen is also bare, save for the recycling bin filled with empty water bottles and protein shakes. It doesn't really look like anyone lives here.

You walk straight ahead and open the door to your room. It's obvious that someone definitely occupies this space.

You kick all the random clothing to one side of the room and kick the shoes to the other. Making a path for yourself, you reach the bed and fluff the blanket, spreading it over the entirety of the mattress. Shrugging, you figure that's enough cleaning for one day.

You reach under your bed and search for another book to read. You've already finished one of the five books Namjoon selected--the romance novel. It was pleasant to read but a bit cringey and unrealistic at times.

Maybe you've matured beyond young adult fiction. Love is not actually a fantastical event. There's a lot of uncomfortable pain involved.

You pull out a Nicholas Sparks novel. Great, a tear-jerker. There will absolutely be pain in this one. You open the book without reviewing the synopsis and immediately dive into the plot.

Hours later and after about 10 instances of at least one of your limbs going numb, you roll around your bed and finish the book in the moonlight.

Shutting the book closed with tears in your eyes, you fall onto your back and stare at the dark ceiling. These damn Nicholas Sparks novels always get the water works running.

You reach for your phone to peek at the time. It's only 9 pm. You lock your screen just to unlock it again moments later. You scroll through your apps then put the phone down once more.

Sitting up now and feeling utterly restless, you sigh and grab the phone one last time.

The line is ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey..." you say sweetly.

"Y/N, baby, you okay?"

You don't realize it but you're smiling. "I miss you, Joon."

He chuckles in his manly way. "I miss you, too."

You talk about your books. He's impressed that you've finished two already. He hasn't yet gotten past the first few chapters of the sci-fi novel you chose. You laugh to yourself, feeling a little bad about purposefully gifting him a book you knew he'd hate.

This conversation is very different from the previous call you had with Namjoon. Before, he was distracted, in a busy place, and not very talkative. Now, you feel more comfortable to talk about what's been nagging your mind.

"Joonie, the distance between us feels too weird," you start.

"Spring will come again," he replies matter-of-factly. "This is just our new normal until we meet again when my program ends."

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, okay. But what about the changes you mentioned?"

There's a silence on the line for a second. "Have you changed already?" he laughs but he almost sounds nervous.

You're not laughing, however. You dodge his meaningless question and outright ask, "Are we together or not? I don't feel comfortable talking with other guys if we're still claiming each other."

"So, you've found someone else already?" he accuses.

You scoff. "I didn't say that. I-"

"You have feelings for someone else?" he interrupts.