Reflection | PJM

4| first call

You're seated at a glossy wooden table with matching stools. String lights float above your heads while red paper lanterns stick calmly to the walls. One bottle of distilled water sits between you, untouched.

He ordered the food by phone when you left the studio so that it'd be ready sooner than later.

Until you reached the tiny restaurant, you both excitedly talked about showcases you've attended. But once you reach the table, you start to feel anxious.

You haven't had an actual meal for about 6 months now, since the time you applied to Jung-nim's studio.

You knew you had to maintain a petite figure to flawlessly jump through the air and be lifted above male partners' heads.

You wanted to be the top candidate, and you accomplished that. But you could feel your body rapidly weakening over time, as a simple arabesque has haunted you for weeks.

You're not sure if your stomach can handle the meal being set on the table.

Tteokbokki. Jjajjangmyeon. Radish kimchi. Fresh lettuce.

Aside from your liquid diet of water and the occasional protein shake, you've only been eating small things like crackers or a slice of toasted bread here and there just to survive.

He digs right in, sounding very satisfied. "Mmm," he says as he slurps the noodles into his mouth.

He gestures to the food and you shudder with nervousness, hesitantly grabbing chopsticks and picking at the tteokbokki. How will this thick dough dissolve in your stomach?

You drop the chopsticks and opt for some lettuce instead. Not wanting to look weird, you pick the lettuce apart and then eat it, instead of nibbling it like you normally would.

He still looks at you between bites like you're strange. "Eat up. I don't want to be the only one pigging out," he says.

You take a deep breath, "Ah, I feel full just watching you. You eat so well." His mouth is full and his cheeks look like they'll explode as his eyes smile at your comment.

You really would rather watch him. He's cute.

So far, you feel fine after a piece of lettuce. You finally decide to risk it and take a bite of the noodles.

Hmm, you haven't tasted this in a while. Then, a second bite. You forgot how delicious it was. And a third.

You finally touch the distilled water and pour yourself a glass. As the liquid flows into your body, you feel an uneasiness begin to form.

Suddenly, you feel a pain in your chest. Flooded with feelings of disgust and nausea, you excuse yourself to the restroom.

He doesn't show much interest as he continues to devour the food. You trust he could finish the meal without your help anyway.

Walking towards the restroom calmly, you turn the corner and then sprint into a stall within the ladies' room.

You kneel over the toilet and release the small meal you just consumed. This isn't what you wanted to do, but your body automatically rejects solid foods lately.

You gargle and rinse your mouth with sink water. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you shake your head and wipe the tears that escaped while you were involuntarily puking.

Should you tell Jimin what happened? No, none of his business. He'll just want to talk more about it.

Would it ruin the night if you ask to go home? Well, this isn't a date anyway.