Reflection | PJM

26| change

After Christmas, you return to your regular schedule.

You finish morning lessons and head to the private practice room.

Jung-nim is already standing there, talking to Jimin. You hesitantly open the door, not wanting to be a bother.

Jung-nim waves for you to come over so you open the door fully and enter.

"Y/N, I've got good and bad news," she begins.

You glance to Jimin who shows a pinched expression.

"It's a singular piece of information, but please see the good before you see the bad. I know you've gotten very close with Jimin over the last semester."

Your eyes widen. Has Jung-nim found out about your sexcapades? Or the fact you live together?

You eagerly wait to hear the news as Jung-nim drags it out.

"I can't afford to continue paying Jimin's rates. Your dance has improved so much, you don't need the extra help anymore anyway," Jung-nim says.

You briskly turn to Jimin. He gives a defeated nod.

"What's the good news?" you ask Jung-nim.

"You don't need a mentor anymore. This will free up your schedule and give you more independence," she beams.

You scoff, not meaning to be rude, but there's nothing good about that. If Jimin doesn't have a job here, he'll need to find a new one. That means he might be moving out of Seoul soon.

You bow to Jung-nim and accept the curveball she's thrown at you. It's been decided you'll finish the week with Jimin as your mentor, but that'll be the end of it.

With Jung-nim gone, you grab Jimin by his arms. "What are your rates? Do you have to be so expensive?" You shake him up a bit.

He grabs your arms and shakes you the same way. "We both knew this day would come."

You break from him and pace the floor nervously. "So, you'll be traveling again, huh?" you ask, reflecting on the conversation you had with Hoseok about Jimin's travel history.

Jimin shakes his head and sucks his teeth. "I haven't looked into any tours yet. But, most likely, I will."

You feel your heart shattering and stabbing you from the inside. It feels like you're suffocating. You stop your pacing and stand frozen before him.

"I was starting to feel really attached to you," you admit.

He embraces you in a warm hug. "I didn't intend to hurt you. This is why I didn't want to take your virginity at first."

You start to let your guards down against his comforting chest and feel the tears building pressure behind your eyes.

"I don't regret anything," you say. "I'm glad it was with you."

He continues to hold you tightly, rocking you slightly back and forth. He waits for you to finish crying and then wipes your tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," he whispers.

"It's not your fault," you croak. "I knew it wouldn't last forever. Silly me."

He brushes your wet hair from your face and you begin to cry again.

"You're my best friend. I only trust you," you say.

He cups your face and raises one corner of his lips. "You're my best friend, too."

"You take care of me. You stopped me from starving myself, you landed me my first major show, you taught me how to love myself," you sob.

He embraces you again. This time you bury your face in his chest to stifle your cries. It feels like a bad breakup.

You pull away from him to continue your soliloquy.

"I hated myself before you came into my life. I couldn't stand to even see my own reflection. Then you showed me the parts of myself that I was overlooking."

Tears start to form in his eyes, too.

"Jimin, you awakened so many things in me. You are the reason." You pound your fist onto his chest. "How will I do anything without you? I'm scared I'll lose myself again."

His tears finally fall from his eyes. His lip quivers and he pulls you into his chest a third time.

This time he squeezes you and plants his face at the crook of your neck. This hug is more for him.

You run your fingers along his hunched back and kiss his ear. "Please don't cry, Jimin, my heart can't take it."

He straightens up and dries his face. His puffy cheeks are pink.

You refrain from crying further and link your hands with his. "Let's just go home. My head is hurting and I want to cuddle you as much as I can," you say.

He sniffles and nods. "Let's do that."