Reflection | PJM

14| selection

A week goes by with Eunjoo joining your private lessons everyday. She's giddy with Jimin and trying her hardest to impress him.

You consider leaving the private lessons since your skills have improved so much. But you decide to stick around to monitor Jimin's behavior around her.

You still have feelings for him.

Eunjoo slips and lands on her knee during her practice for next week's assignment. Jimin rushes to her aid.

You snicker and stare her down. She's probably faking it.

"Ow, Jimin, please rub it," Eunjoo begs him with puppy dog eyes.

Jimin rubs her knee and bends it to make sure it's still mobile. Eunjoo moans and licks her lips.

You walk over there and grab her by the elbow, yeeting her to her feet. "You're fine."

Eunjoo rips her arm from your grasp and dusts herself off. "Stop interfering!" She screams at you.

You blink long and hard, trying not to lash out. "You're wasting our practice time."

Jimin steps between you two, not siding with either of you in particular. "Y/N is right. We have a lot to work on, and if you're not actually injured you shouldn't fake it. That's bad luck."

You walk away and stretch your arms in front of the mirror. You would have loved to slap Eunjoo just now. But you controlled yourself.

Just then, Jung-nim knocks the door and enters. She's cheery.

"Hi, everyone!"

We all bow to her.

"I have good news for Y/N."

You turn to face her. The only good news would be if Eunjoo was banned from these sessions.

Jung-nim walks to you and places encouraging hands on your shoulders. "You're selected for the biggest show in the city."

Your eyes widen. You're confused. You haven't applied to anything.

"Jimin submitted your recent tapes, and you got a call back immediately!"

You look over to Jimin who smiles to himself and nods to you. Eunjoo stands beside him with a bitter expression.

You look back at Jung-nim. "I don't know what to say. I wasn't prepared for this."

She hugs you and bounces with excitement. "I'm so proud of you!"

You jump with her and feel the joy settle in. You can't believe Jimin did this for you.

Jung-nim bids farewell and leaves the studio.

You hug Jimin and thank him for submitting your tapes. He strokes your hair and rests his hands on the small of your back. "I got you," he says.

Eunjoo makes a weird noise and says, "What's going on? This doesn't look appropriate."

You pull away from Jimin. It's been so long since you've smelled his refreshing scent. You almost got lost in it.

"It's nothing like that," Jimin says to Eunjoo. Even though he's probably saying that to protect himself, you still feel a bit insulted. It's nothing.

Eunjoo practices her routine again while you check your email for information about the show you got selected for.

There are already several recordings of the routines you need to memorize. You read more and discover you must practice in-person for one month prior to the show.

Will you have to withdraw from Jimin's lessons?

Jimin dismisses Eunjoo for the day and urges her to stretch and practice technical skills before returning tomorrow. She bows and flirts with him despite her embarrassing performance.

After Eunjoo leaves the room, you approach Jimin, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"Are you serious about it being nothing?"

He looks taken aback. "We really should be professional here."

You suck your teeth. "We've kissed here plenty of times and you fingered me on this floor not long ago."

Jimin's eyes avert to the door, afraid someone might be listening. "We shouldn't do that anymore," he says. "It's not just 'our' space anymore."

You're in disbelief. "Are you fucking Eunjoo? Is that why you've changed?"

Jimin becomes defensive. "I haven't done anything with her-"

"-yet," you predict.

He frowns and rubs his forehead.

"Forget it," you say.

You grab your bag and storm out the door. He was right. You would definitely be regretting it now if you lost your virginity to him.

———————

At your apartment you throw your bag at the wall and punch at the door. You're breathing is ragged and you feel light-headed. You fall onto the couch and try to control your breaths but you let out little screams instead as you cry into your hands.

The bird in your chest is vigorously fighting to escape its confines. You grip your shirt and pound your chest to quiet the pain. It hurts so bad.

You pace the floor now, looking for something to dull the pain. You recite affirmations to yourself but they're filled with insincerity.

You stomp to your room and reach a hand under the bed, searching. Finally, you retrieve the bag of books from Namjoon.

You randomly choose one, and it's a book about an abusive relationship. Not exactly the same as your situation but you can probably resonate with this one. Your heart feels beat up.

You wipe your tears and mentally transport to the world of fiction. You're sucked into the plot within minutes and finish the book by the time the sun sets.

You close the book and throw it in the closet. Back to reality.

You're calm now, but still feeling unloved and used.

Is this a good time to call Namjoon? You need a friend right now.

No, you don't want to burden anyone.

You decide this is a sign to focus on yourself and your upcoming show.

You whip out your phone and review the new routines again. Moving the sofa to the wall, you begin practicing the steps in your living room.

Since Jimin is preoccupied with Eunjoo now, you'll just have to depend on yourself.

You strain your muscles as you exaggerate your movements and slice through the air with newfound strength.

You apply everything you've learned so far and couple it with your aggressive emotions. Falling on your knees to conclude the dramatic practice, you feel determined to rise to the top no matter what.

You'll kill the show and prove you can do it on your own.