𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖢𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝖮𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖯𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗍

15: You did nothing wrong.

But for some reason, this time when I closed my eyes, I have entered a dream, but in this one, I was myself.

I looked in front of myself to see.. me?

"So are you happy now?" she said, looking so sad and devastated.

I was shocked upon seeing myself. 

"W-Why am I here?" I said, not understanding.

The other 'me' looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Everything comes and goes as they wish.. If this is what life is about, I never want to live again." she said with a broken voice.

I was stunned at this whole situation. I was aware this was my dream. But why was I not in someone else's shoes as always?

Suddenly, the pain in her voice, got to me. The heavy feeling on the chest, the emptiness on the inside with a hope to fill it up again, the mind that was only swirling around negative things.

"I'm sorry.. I don't want to live." were her thoughts.

My eyes welled up with tears as well, "Why do you think about things like these?"

She walked up towards me, "It's probably hard to believe, but I'm you. I'm you if you wouldn't have saved Zack. I'm you if you wouldn't have saved Aerith from getting caught. I'm you if you would try to take your own life by turning yourself in to Shinra."

I widened my eyes in shock, "Finally happy, are you?" she said, pleading for it to be true.

This time tears were pouring down my cheeks, seeing myself like this, I hugged 'me' tightly as I sobbed into her arms, "I tried to escape Whispers, and I did. But that led me to losing so many precious people.. I'm a coward.." she said.

"No.. You were scared.. I'm scared, too.." I said while tears weren't stopping, "Please cherish Cloud. At least in your life, do that for me. For you."

"But he doesn't know me at all.." I said, "He knows about you a lot more than you think..." she said whilst gently stroking my hair.

We separated from each other and looked into each others eyes. Her left eyes was missing. The scar beside it made it obvious that it was taken from her.

"Cloud is the one who can save you from your eternal curse." she said.

But how do you know? 

"I know you are regretting your choices. I know you are now feeling trapped with everyone beside you being hurt because of you. You feel like a burden. But feeling like a burden is better than regretting the things you could have done differently. My life is all about those regrets. I am a coward, I tried to selfishly save myself even though those people, who were taken away from me, mattered more to me than my own life." she now reached out her hand towards me and stroked my cheek.

"I'm happy that things turned out better for me in different world. So please bear in mind that you did nothing wrong." she then wiped my tear away and with that my dream vanished.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face. The pain inside of my heart at the sight of 'me' who was desperate, hopeless, sad and in her lowest, was the worst pain of it all.

And here I was regretting so many things previously that I selfishly tried to think about how I was a burden. 

Cloud is the key to this? How?

I hastily got out of my bed, got ready and ran down the stairs, not greeting anyone but rushing to the sector 7. I don't think anyone really noticed me leaving in a rush, but I needed answers to the 'me'.

I ran... and ran.. and ran.. until I couldn't take it anymore. I made it in front of Marle's apartment complex, but my knees gave in as I now tried to catch my breath.

"Is that.. Yui?" I heard Tifa's voice. But before I could look up, he was in front of me, kneeling.

Why did I feel so relieved upon seeing his face now? I didn't even know him properly.

The tears of relief now welled up in my eyes. Gosh, how many times am I going to cry?

"Are you okay?" he peered into my face.

But even though his expression seemed calm, his actions proved that he was actually worried about me.

For the first time, with Tifa staring, I didn't hesitate. I clung onto Cloud, hugging him so tightly as if letting him go would mean he would disappear.

"I'm so happy to see you.." the tears were now streaming down my cheeks with no hint of stopping.

Cloud was stunned, not knowing what to do.

Then the realization hit me once again. And the feeling of shame enveloped me. 

I separated from Cloud so quickly that it was hard to believe that I didn't want to let him go earlier, "I'm sorry! I'm just happy to see a familiar face... If it was Tifa, I would have done the same. I'm sorry." I tried to laugh it off as I now started to make steps back.

"Don't want you to misunderstand this." I laughed awkwardly, "Oh! I came to check on the flowers. Nothing more.." I then turned towards the flowers.

However, all of sudden, my hand was caught by Cloud's muscular one. It made me whip my head at him.

We locked eyes for a second but Cloud also quickly let go, "..That's for before.." he said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head whilst turning his back on me.

I felt myself smile genuinely.