Voodoo doll

Chapter 33

(Luke's pov)

"-Leave me the fuck alone! It's for your own damn good!!" Janie screamed, tears running down her cheeks. I wanted so badly to wipe them away, to make her smile again. But before I could do as much as blink, she was slamming the door in the bathroom and locking it.

"Janie," I knocked on the door without thinking.

"Luke." Her tone from the other side of the door didn't match mine. Mine was warm and supportive with a little hurt. Hers was straight cold and hateful.

"Can you come out? And we can talk?" I asked hopefully. There was a brief moment before she opened the door and was staring up at me, her expression wasn't the same.

"About what? You're not gonna listen to what I'm telling you," she stared at me.

"I'll always listen!" I argued.

"Okay sorry I meant believe me," Janie corrected, "Luke I'm telling you the truth, I'm trying to stop you from hurting but you won't believe me! Just believe me Luke!!"

"Ashton probably did right?" I sighed under my breath.

"Oh my god Luke!" Janie rolled her eyes, obviously upset by my constant reaction to Ashton and her being close.

"What? You always compare me to Ashton," I shrugged.

"No Luke, you always compare yourself to Ashton, I never do!"

"Oh really?? Again with the lie Janie?" I asked stressed.

All Janie did was stare at me for a minute, it was no longer a death glare, but now just a stare. A deep in thought stare, with a touch of hurt to it.

"I hate you," she mumbled. "I fucking hate you so much Luke, I wish I never met you, wish I never looked into your gorgeous blue eyes, wish I never saw your smile. And I wish I never loved you for even a second, cause right now I'm over that! I've tried to spare your feelings about this doll, I tried to help you, I tried Luke, I really tried. Now I'm done with this relationship. I just hate you, and want you out of my life," Janie went back into the bathroom and this time slammed the door so hard I'm shocked there wasn't an earth quake.

Her words sank in, but I wish they didn't.

All I did was stand there staring at the bathroom door, motionless.

All I felt was my heart die.

Isn't it strange how when someone says they love you, you can't feel anything that much? But when they say they don't anymore you feel every ounce of happiness once there shader and fall to your feet.
And it's like your soul drained, dried out, just plain out died.

The worst feeling I've ever felt in my life and every time inhale the oxygen that keeps me alive, it only hurt more.
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(Janie's pov)

I sat on the bathroom floor holding my breath, and every time I need to breath I quietly let myself quickly. Holding the sobs in as my tears streamed down my face. I knew Luke was on the other side of the door, I knew he would hear. And I didn't want him knowing how upset I really am.

I want him to think I'm mad, not sad. But I was both. Not mad at Luke, mad at myself for falling so hard for someone who doesn't even know he is under a spell, who'd never love me otherwise. And sad because I'm back to reality, knowing he isn't really in love with me, knowing that I am destroyed by him. But most of all sad because the thing I just told him, how I don't love him, that I hate him, was worse and the least true of the lies I've told him so far, and this one would truthfully hurt him.
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About an hour later there was a loud knocking at the door.

"Janie?" Ashton called. I almost didn't want to open the door, I didn't want to talk about what happened, didn't wanna remember I dumped Luke.
But I still got up and opened the door.

"Hi Ash..." I sat back down and hugged my knees to my chest.

"I heard you yelling earlier and Luke was sitting in the hall crying and kicking the wall, what happened?" Ashton shut the door behind himself, looking concerned.

"I broke up with him," I stared at the floor.

"Why??" Ashton say next to me. I just shook my head. Not wanting to remember one bit of the awful things I said to Luke.

"It was for his own good, he deserved better," I sighed not looking away from the one tile on the bathroom floor for even one second.

"Janie, you're not bad!" Ashton argued, "You accidentally did a upsetting thing, but to no means are you a bad person Janie. You obviously love Luke for real, you pain yourself to let Luke benefit in the end, that's love not hugging and kissing, but simply wanting better for someone. You're not bad, your hearts in the right place."

"He didn't believe me about the doll," I explained, "He needs someone who he doesn't need to understand there's a doll interfering with his heart."

"Who's to say it is the doll? Maybe he loved you before the doll even appeared in your life, you don't know for sure that it was always the doll. I've wanted to say that for a while. I just... Never did," Ashton put his hand on my knee supportively. I looked up at him.

"Why would he love me for anything other than a doll? What's to love?" I asked. Ashton just stared at me expectingly. "What?"

"Janie, you have to love yourself if you ever want anyone to love you," Ashton sighed before getting up.

I kinda feel bad I constantly drag him into my issues. I think of this daily of how I do. Ashton's amazing and I love him but I don't know if I should drag him into so many issues and make his smile fade.

"Sorry for constantly interrupting you," I said randomly changing the subject.

"Huh?"

"From Blair, I keep taking you from her," I sighed.

"Don't worry, I'll have forever to spend with her," Ashton smiled before leaving the bathroom. He's said that twice already. He needs to understand, good things only last so long.

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(A/n)

Sad huh? Luke and Janie have broken up.
Do you think you know what happens next? Tell me if you do.

QOTD: Have you ever loved someone so much you'd do anything for them? Explain.

Doesn't have to be a romantic love, it can mean love in general.

Okay well I love you!

Xoxo

No need to fear, an update is near!