WICKED GAMES WITH THE MAFIA

I'M SORRY

SEITH'S P.O.V

Fuck me and fuck me a million times.

I ran a hand through my hair as I had done for a zillion times over the day. I huffed, seeing it all get away from me. Where did my negotiating skills go when I needed them the most? Like what the fuck was happening? How did I get here? I knew I was losing this and there was no getting back.

I opened my mouth only to close it not knowing what to do or say, watching her shake in anger which was totally the opposite emotion I was going for. The plan was simple; buy her roses, apologise for being such a dick, take her to dinner but since she had already cooked- eat dinner and do my thing.

I really ruined this, I was not good at this not even in the slightest. I had never wanted someone so bad in my life, never felt so lost like a fish out of water, seeing how I was losing her. I sighed trying to regroup, trying to re-strategize but how could I think when she sat right in front of me looking like that.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

I think I have lost my balls.

Who the hell was I? And when did I become such a pussy?

My life was a mess, I did not know what I was doing. One thing for sure was that I wanted her but the problem was how did I get her to want me back. I ran my hand over my hair again, my eyes flickering to her watching her face turn red by the second tears shimmering in her eyes.

What?

Wait!

Why was she crying now?  Running a whole cartel was so much easier than this, I knew that it was just fight till the end and be as ruthless as ever but with her it was a whole different story that I was totally not getting. My thoughts turned back to the way her face lit up when Jonathan proposed, her eyes glimmered with such hope and happiness yet there being just a hint of sadness tucking at the strings of my dark heart wishing I could give her that, wishing I could be the man she deserved. The world had been so cruel to her and I just wanted to protect her fragile heart. She was one of a kind, mad at you now then having forgot the whole thing a second later, she was like a kid so much so that no matter how much you spank them they will always come back and play with you two hours later totally having forgot.

I shook my head trying to remember when this all started. Was it her painful sobs that tore at me or was it her sneaky ways trying to get on that son of a bitch's nerve-Thomas. My hands shook as my mind trailed to him, that stupid fucker trying kill my girl! My girl! Who the fuck did he think he was? I had let him off too easy, lucky he had died from that shot or lord so help me I would have ripped him to shreds.

My eyes trailed back to Melissa who shook waiting for my reply but what could I say really, I knew where she was taking this not wanting to go there for there was no return. There were not enough apologies that could make what I did right, I had violated her in the worst possible way. How I wish I could take it back but what was done was just that-done and I have to live with it now.
I opened my mouth only to close it again. Fuck, I hated this, hated feeling so helpless. Hated how she was so near yet so far. The truth was I had just found out about who she was and wanted to send her back to her boss having done the most unspeakable things to her. She had seemed so beautiful and cute, how could I have stayed away. The plan had been simple: Fuck her until she confessed her sins then skin her alive while she watches, sending her back to them in pieces. It had really been a perfect plan but her innocence had left me shocked, her pleas leaving me haunted, something about her had just gripped me, seeing her blood all over my hands.

Fin and I had been playing this game for too long, his greed driving him insane trying to take over all the cartels ripping the hard work of generations and generations- blood and sweat. He was never going to even taste a single dollar of my money and look how the tables turn, having him right under my thumb being the sweetest victory of all, watching him jump at my command.

I had won everything yet it seemed I was at a loss at this one person who suddenly meant a lot to me. How could one person be so perfect? She was beautiful, she was kind, she was cute and funny, easy going, so trusting and forgiving it was dangerous yet feisty and smart. I closed my eyes, a hand through my hair knowing that I would never make it right with her yet all I could do was try every fucking day because all hell could break loose but she was mine to have and to hold, to protect and to love.
My wife!

"What I did to you I could never take back but how I wish I could. There will never be enough apologies in the world to make it right, there is nothing I could say to make it right. I violated you in the most horrific possible way blinded by anger and for that I am very sorry, I am sorry for all the nights you cried, I am sorry for how I ripped your soul so brutally, I am sorry for the pain and the trauma. I don't deserve your forgiveness yet I will ask for it anyway."

How could I look at her as she broke down in front of me? My knees kissed the floor, knee-walking over to her. Her body shook so bad I thought she would burst. The hurt, betrayal and pain all painted on her face wishing I could just kill myself a thousand times over. I knew that face would haunt me till the end of my days. My chest ached, wanting to take it away, wishing I could take her pain yet I could not, I had did this to her.

My arms went around her waist as she collapse into me, her face on my shoulder, sobs tearing through her leaving her cold. She had a good heart, one of the purest people I know, so trusting and forgiving, her body clinging onto mine, clinging as if I was breath she breathe, shivers running through her skin. She wept so hard my heart broke, arms tightening around her as she dug herself deeper into my arms sobbing so hard leaving me broken knowing I could never forgive myself for all I put her through.

Her sobs rocked through her until there were nothing but little hiccups. I held on to her not sure how long it had been but her body unmoving, her face dug deep in the crock of my neck feeling her wet warm lips quiver against my skin knowing she had cried herself to sleep.

I picked her up, pushing her and bringing her legs around my waist, arms holding so tight I thought my neck would break yet I walked to the room not even bothering with the lights. My hands went up trying to pull her arms from around my neck but her grip was something else, there was no way I would pry her from me without breaking a few bones which I would rather not do. I had made a lot of promises to her and I intended to keep each and every one of them. I didn't care how much it took, didn't care how long it took but I was going to give her the best life anyone could ever dream of. Nothing could stop me from giving this woman my all.

Short chapter guys, I know, I am sorry, I hate short chapters too but there was nothing else I could add without ruining the whole chapter.
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