Shells

Chapter 42

Trigger Warning: Heavy Drug Use and mentions of death (a/n I said that last time and there really wasn't any but now there definitely is) Please reach out if you are struggling with substance abuse. The united states substance abuse/mental health line is 1-800-662-HELP (4357), it's confidential, free, and Spanish speaking representative are available

Song: The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Lydia sat down on the beach, letting the low tide brush against her feet. After noticing that Cassie had given her about 20 pills, she immediately popped one, washing it down with a few gulps of vodka. She waited, for a little bit, before taking another one.

She was trying to be 'responsible' but still numb the pain. Even after the second pill and half a handle of vodka, she was only feeling buzzed. She couldn't ignore all of the thoughts running through her head.

She was just so angry at her mom, and even more so at herself. Part of Lydia hated the fact that her mother was affecting her this much, because clearly, her mother really didn't care all that much. She had so many questions that her mother probably could've answered but Lydia couldn't look at her for another minute. After letting out a groan, she took another two pills, hoping that it would finally mute her brain.

Her eyes scanned her surroundings after realizing she hadn't actually looked around before settling down. The water was fairly calm, although there were definitely some waves that she longed to surf. She saw someone, further down the beach surfing and her mind couldn't help but drift to her favorite surfer.

She knew she was a complete idiot, as soon as she told JJ that they needed to break up. She almost took it back immediately, but then she remembered her whole reasoning for pushing him away. He wouldn't have let her drown her sorrows in drugs and alcohol, he wouldn't have let her practically throw her life away, but she had convinced herself that she needed to do those things. After all, this had always been Lydia's way of coping.

All of her memories with JJ played in her mind like a movie. She thought about their romantic relationship: their first kiss, the first time they did it, their first anniversary, first holidays. She even thought about their friendship, more specifically the first time she met JJ and John B

It was the very first day of 3rd grade, and Lydia, being the anxious person she is, was crying as her mom dropped her off. Her tears quickly stopped when she noticed the glare that Jacob was giving her from the car. So she walked into Kildare Elementary with her head held high.

She was actually really enjoying learning and being around people her own age. Lydia didn't really have friends outside of school, so she had to make do with the very limited social life she had at school. She had one friend in her class, Ella, and they loved all of the same things.

So when recess came, and Ella had suggested that they played on the monkey bars, Lydia happily obliged. She was swinging on the monkey bars when a kickball came out of nowhere, knocking her off the bar she was holding. Of course, she cried and Ella tried to console her, but little did she know that her falling off the monkey bars would bring her the friends she had been wishing for.

Two boys ran over to the monkey bars, and sat next to Ella and Lydia.

"I'm so sorry! We were playing on the field and JJ kicked it a little too hard" A brunette boy with freckles gushed

"Did not! You totally threw the ball at me and missed" The blonde, assumingly JJ, whined

"It's fine. Don't worry about it" Lydia responded

"You guys should come play with us, I'm John B" He offered a hand to help pull her up

And Lydia choosing to join in on their game ended up being the best decision of her life (even when it eventually meant Lydia and Ella drifted)