Rule #1: Rule of Fate

[19]

"What? You're gonna study in Japan?"

After my talk with Mama, I decided that I would choose to take the opportunity. Sayang din naman talaga kase. I really want it too, so if Mama's okay with it, then I should take it.

I quickly called Emma to tell her. She had the right to know, since she's my bestfriend. Clingy pa naman 'to sa akin.

"Yes, that's my plan." I told her. "I haven't told my Tita, about it though."

She nodded. Her eyes looked sad but she managed to smile. "That's good... pero hindi na kita madalas makikita..." she said, pouting.

I chuckled. "You can visit me naman, at saka pwede rin ako bumisita dyan. We can also VC from time to time."

She pouted even more. "Yes, pero hindi na tayo makakapag gala together. You'll be so far away from me na."

I laughed. Ang clingy talaga nitong bestfriend ko. Sometimes I feel like she can't live without me. Pati ang susuotin niya sa araw-araw tinatanong niya sa akin. Tapos, makakalimutin pa siya kaya may space sa calendar ko para sa mga events niya.

"Paano si Gray?" she asked. "So, you'll move on from him na?"

I pursed my lips and thought about it. I suddenly remembered Gray. Studying in Japan, means leaving my school. I'd have to say goodbye to them, eventually. And that includes... him. I couldn't tell if my feelings for him were already that deep. Araw-araw naiisip ko siya. Even if I don't want to, he just instantly pops in on my mind. Kaya kahit napakalayo ko sa kanya ngayon, ay siya pa rin ang iniisip ko.

"Emma, hindi naman kami. Besides... it's just a crush. It's not like I love him, or anything." sabi ko.

"Hmm... that's true! Besides, maraming gwapo rin dyan. I'm sure you'll find a new one!"

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero hindi ko maimagine ang sarili ko na may gustong iba. Was I ever like this with Kale? Naalala kong pinipilit ko ang sarili kong magkagusto sa iba para lang kalimutan mo siya. And I did. Except that it's someone who doesn't like me back as well.

The thought me liking someone else other than him, still won't sit in my mind. I'm still not sure how deep my feelings are for him. Basta ang alam ko lang ay kumakalabog ang puso ko tuwing nakikita ko siya, o tuwing nahahawakan niya ang kamay ko. Tapos tuwing nagtatama naman ang paningin namin ay hindi ako makatingin ng diretso.

Sometimes, the little inch of hope that he could possibly like me back, comes through my mind just to hurt me. Everything with him, is so unclear. Ang hirap niyang basahin. Ang hirap niyang intindihin. Pati ang mga galaw niya at pakikitungo sa akin ay napakalabo. Minsan, pakiramdam ko'y ang sweet niya na sa akin. Tapos bigla na naman siyang manlalamig. Ewan ko, napakagulo niya.

"I'm sleepy na, update nalang kita." sabi ko.

"Sure, good night!" she greeted before I ended the call.

The whole night, I suddenly can't sleep. I suddenly thought of Gray. I touched the ring he gave me and smiled. It looks so pretty. It's like it's perfectly made for me. The thought of it coming from Gray, made my heart pound. It's as if any gift he gives me would still be beautiful, basta galing sa kanya.

Sinubukan kong patulugin ang sarili ko, pero hindi ko pa rin magawa. Hindi siya maalis sa isipan ko. I wonder what is he doing right now? Panigurado, naglalaro ng ML, 'yun o COD. I wanted to know, but I didn't wanna ask him or his sister. Wala rin naman kase akong karapatan.

I opened my phone and checked my stories. Mutuals kami, kaya paniguradong makikita niya ang posts o stories ko.

Tiningnan ko ang mga naka-view na nito. Halos lahat nung kilala ko, nakita na nila. Even his sister, watched it already. Maliban nalang din sa kanya...