Coffee Stains ‣ Mikey Fusco [AU]✔

Chapter 38: //Too Much\\

[a/n; bracing myself for comments to explode at me. hint hint luciana xD]

C h a r l o t t e 

I couldn't take it. I had to listen to the voicemail. We had about twenty minutes left of the period and even silly cat videos on YouTube aren't cheering me up; that's when I knew that things weren't right. I raised my hand and the subsitute, I believe her name is Mrs. Murphy, nodded meaning I could ask away.

"Mrs. Murphy may I go to the nurse's office? I don't feel too good," I lied through my teeth. It wasn't an exact lie, I am feeling nauseous from the overwhelming stress Mikey has left for me.

Mrs. Murphy was one of the pushovers when she is a subsitute teacher. She was a sweet middle aged woman with graying honey blonde hair and the brightest gray eyes I've ever seen. Mrs. Murphy is so sweet, she reminds me so much of Wanda.

Wanda. Mikey. Shit, shit, shit, mind you failed me. 

"Yes of course Miss. Morales," she answered with a smile at the end. Gosh she should be mean to me like every other subsitute.

I nodded thanks to her before grabbing my backpack and walking out the classroom. I noticed Nina's look of concern for me when I was halfway out the door and I quickly forced a smile on my face so she knows I'm fine. 

I quickly went to the private bathroom for the disabeled and locked the door. I placed my backpack next to the sink and sat on the toilet seat with my phone in my hands. My trembling fingers pressed his contact and allowed his voicemail to be heard.

"Hey," the moment I heard his voice through the phone I clamped my hand over my mouth. Get yourself together Charlotte! "I don't know how to say how much I'm missing you. I've never been able to admit to anyone how much I care. They say some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, but I try to keep mine stuffed away in the back of a sock drawer where no one will ever find it. I will never tell you that I worry about you more than myself or how I admire all the things you find wrong with yourself. Or that you are the closest thing I have ever known to home and I will probably never tell you that I miss you more than anything because you deserve that much; to move on. But it's all very true. I miss you," he admitted. 

There was a short pause and by now my eyes are stinging in pain due to the tears that are begging to fall down my face. Just stop, can he stop? 

"I'm sorry for every sort of pain I caused on you," his voice cracked at his sentence, but he pushed through and continued. "You didn't deserve it. And no matter what happened with Fiona, I never loved her, it was you. It will always be you, Charlotte. And I'm not going to say that cheesy line 'if you love someone you let them go and if they were truly yours they'd come back'. No because we're not like that, we're not cheesy, we're practical. And," another pause, "—I want you to move on. Forget about me, forget about us. I don't want you to be hurt, but I don't think the love I have for you will ever go away or will be given to someone else. I'll never love the same. Goodbye Charlotte Morales, it was a hell of a ride and it was amazing loving you."

It's done. Everything is done. I can move on and he can do the same. 

But if this is what I wanted? Why don't I feel any joy?

My chest tightened as I choked out my sobs. I couldn't breathe as sobs left me uncontrollably. Why am I crying? I should be dancing with joy that we're over. But I'm not.

It's because you love him, the voice at the back of my head nagged.

**

I did go to the nurse's office and made up a phony excuse to go home early. For example, I now have a terrible migraine and is experiencing period cramps. Yeah Nurse Rodrick didn't look to comfortable when I bluntly told him. But at this point I could careless about anything. I just want to cacoon myself in blankets and watch Gossip Girl on Netflix.