Coffee Stains ‣ Mikey Fusco [AU]✔

Chapter 35: //What About Now\\

[a/n; y'all are so wrong. Takes me hours to find the perfect song and you don't even listen to it! JK i know some of you do, but please!]

C h a r l o t t e 

I spent a few more hours in my room sulking and contemplating on why the universe hates me. Both relationships I've ever had in my life I was cheated on. How motherfucking great right? I mean it's as if the universe is telling me not to bother because I'll just be a single cat lady with thirty cats, one of them named Bartholomew.

Eventually I was called down for dinner. Before leaving my room I took a look at myself. This is not the Charlotte I know. She would never be like this and never have I ever imagined her to turn out like this. Messy golden hair, bloodshot eyes that turned from their bright blue to a dull grey, and skin blotchy and red from the crying I've done. My makeup is everywhere on my face and my clothes show the evidence for they also are covered in them. I grabbed some clothes and went to my bathroom. I rinsed my face clear of makeup, tied my hair, and changed into some sweats and a tank top. Nothing screams 'just got out of a relationship' like looking homeless. Just awesome.

I went down the stairs and sat between Oscar and Liam who gave me worried looks. All my brothers and sister knows. Liam practically called Oscar and told him detail to detail on what happened right after Mikey had left. Leaving my parents out of the blue this shouldn't be a fun dinner tonight.

I ignored their worried looks and turned to my plate full of food. It's Chinese takeout, one of my favorites. However it's a shame that I can't actually force this down my system. I pushed the spicy green beans around my plate with my fork as I stared blankly at it, taking occasional bites at times.

"So uh, I got an A+ on my Science Project," Riley said trying to start a conversation and to break the awkward silence.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Mom asked me. Lately she's been a bit more emotional due to the hormones in her. Not to mention the fact that she's starting to get upset that the baby bump is showing more than ever. And it's only month four! Five more to go.

I forced a smile on my face, "nothing, just stressed. Have a bunch of homework to do anyway. Plus I have to help plan Homecoming. The school year's almost over, like in a month or so."

"Bull," Dad accused making me choke on the rice I had in my mouth. Never had my Dad ever been like this. He's always so carefree and childish like us. Now he's trying to act serious? Shit. Obviously the world is against me today. Yippee.

"Dad—"

"Charlotte Kimberlyn Anne Lockwood - Morales," Dad warned as he put his fist down on the table causing everything to shake and everyone to look at him in shock, "You will tell me what's wrong this instant young lady."

I lowered my head, but when my eyes looked up to meet the eyes of my parents I broke. "Mikey and I ended okay? Are you happy now? You couldn't even let me sulk for one day without questioning everything that I do?"

I got up from the dinner table and went straight into my room. And since I'm just as dramatic as my mother I slammed the door of course. I am after all a Morales. Dramatics are just a small part of us I guess. 

And of course right when I jumped onto my bed that's when Mom came in. She looked at me with sympathy pooling in her eyes before sitting on the edge of my bed. She pouted, "my sweet, baby girl. Why didn't you just tell us?"

"It's embarrassing," I admitted, "I can't ever get a guy to stay. I'm a horrible girlfriend, aren't I? I — I don't know what I'm doing wrong!"

"You're not baby," she whispered before peppering my hairline with kisses as she laid my head on her chest, something she did whenever I was little and woke up with terrible nightmares. Well not exactly terrible but certainly just horrifying for an eleven year old girl. And how she'd make me coffee with tiny marshmellows. Yes coffee, had an early addiction.

"I don't like love."

She kissed my forehead and chuckled sadly, "I know honey. If nothing else, I hope you know that I love you with every ounce of my being. I hope you realize your importance not only to me but to everyone who has been lucky enough to know you. I hope you know that when you're feeling down, I only ever strive for your happiness. I hope you remember that no matter what, I'm here for you and I fully intend on staying in your life for quite some time."

"You're my mom, you have to," I pointed out.

"True, but, I hope you recognize the fact that I appreciate and adore you without restraints, and that this will never change," Mom finished. I looked into her bright blue eyes that were a bit watery. She cupped my face and kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you sweetheart, okay? You don't need that love from boys, the love you have is right in front of you. It may not be the one you want, but it's love nonetheless."

"I love you mama."

"I love you too," she muttered before hugging me, "now, I'll put your dinner in the fridge just in case later you want to reheat it. Go get some rest baby."

I nodded and thanked her before climbing under my covers and resting on my side so I was facing on the plain grey wall in front of me. It reminds me of him. Literally. There are polaroids of us together, stupid Hallmark cards he bought me, cheesy poems he wrote, songs that lyrics have me in them somehow, and drawings he does in class.

I need a change. The Charlotte I am—I mean, was, is someone who was only really her when she was with Mikey. I need to start fresh all over again. I need to find myself again.

It's midnight and I'm hungry. Poops. ):

I swear can we appreciate Sydney Sierota (Charlotte) for awhile? I mean, she's gorgeous!

Much Love Guys.

~IaMmE_Chick

xx