Love Is Not Enough | Chaelisa

Chapter 21

"Lisa?"

"Hey, come out would you?"

"I ordered some Thai food, come join me when you're ready okay? I'll be waiting."

And with that, she left. I couldn't blame her. She was patient with me, but I didn't budge. Jennie practically hasn't seen me in a week. If she didn't hear me going to the bathroom, I'm pretty sure she would think I died. 

The only reason I didn't die out of starvation, was also her. I refused to eat. I never came into the kitchen to grab food anymore. On the third day, she stopped me when I was walking out of the bathroom and forced me to sit behind the dining table and eat at least something. Ever since then, she's been making sure I was eating at least twice a day. She insisted I would eat three meals a day but she sometimes missed one of the three because of school, so there was no one to keep an eye on me. And when I was alone, I continued being the miserable living corpse I've been for the past seven days.

Most of the food I ate, I ended up throwing up. Not because I wanted to, but it just didn't seem to want to stay in the pathetic excuse of a body I maintained. Just like my mind, my organs seemed to give up, not cooperating with any of mine or Jennies wishes at all. Well, only Jennie's really, I could be bothered less.

Jennie was getting more and more worried about me. She wanted to take me to a hospital to make sure I was at least remotely okay, saying I had a green tint and looked unwell, but I refused to leave our shared apartment for even a second. I didn't care about the world enough to want to see any of it. Not when the one thing that made it a better was gone, entirely out of my grasp. Nowhere near arm's reach. Remaining just a memory.

I didn't sleep. The dark circles under my eyes were proof of that. The longest sleep I had, was a four-hour nap when I wasn't able to take it anymore and passed out. I didn't allow myself to drift off into dreamland. It wasn't that my mind kept me occupied anymore. I mean, it did, but I refused to let myself doze off for a different reason. 

The first two days I tried to sleep as much as possible, so I would forget the haunting reality for even just a bit, so I could escape. It wasn't a good idea though. Either I had nightmares or I woke up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face as I was panting, begging my lungs to start working harder and intake bigger amounts of oxygen because the normal ones weren't working for me anymore. I hated both.

My nightmares were strange. They didn't really make sense because the events didn't seem to be happening in chronological order. It was as if I was stuck in a never-ending, broken loop, repeating itself over and over like a broken record. 

One second I was walking down this perfectly smooth, beautiful, muddy path, enveloped with flowers and trees. My hand grasping another, making me feel safe. I could never see who the other person was though, it was like I couldn't move my head to the side so I was stuck with purely holding it. Even though I couldn't tell whose hand it was, it felt familiar, friendly. And it successfully fooled me into thinking everything was okay.

Suddenly I felt heat approaching me from the back and this time, I was allowed to turn my head around. I saw the trees behind me burn as they were lit on fire. Branches were burning off, falling into the dry grass and landing with a loud thud as even more fire broke out. I tugged on the hand in hopes it would let go or run with me, but it didn't. 

I couldn't run. I was left walking at the same relaxing pace as the flames continued creeping up on me, the ominous black clouds spreading around me, enveloping me in their darkness. The only thing I could do was scream for help and hope I wouldn't burn to death, but that seemed inevitable as the flames only grew bigger. Fire travels fast after all.