Love Is Not Enough | Chaelisa

Chapter 19

A/N: It's my 18th birthday today, so as my gift to you, enjoy a double update xxx

Other than the almost kiss Rosie and I shared the other night, and losing my virginity, there was nothing worth mentioning during the few days we've spent upstate. It's not that it wasn't fun, because it certainly was, it's just that nothing came even close to compare to those two things.

Jungkook and I have grown closer after the night we've spent together, and I thought, maybe our relationship was finally mending and everything would work out between us after all. My feelings also started coming back, at least I thought they were, and things between us seemed to be okay. He was back to being himself, except for the occasional outbursts of jealousy, and I was finally starting to feel happy again.

The point I've made to put some distance between Rosie and me was in motion ever since what happened in the kitchen, and therefore there was no space for us to get any closer. I wasn't avoiding her, at least I wasn't planning on it, but the older girl seemed to have other plans. And as sad as it made me, not being able to be with her, I had to respect her wishes. I was the one who messed it all up after all.

Just how she ignored my presence completely at breakfast as an aftermath to what happened hours before, she ignored me for the rest of our stay. It made me sad that she seemed to be so uncomfortable being around me. Back in the kitchen, it seemed like she wanted it too, have I assessed the situation wrongly? I mean, I knew it wasn't okay to attempt to do something like that, either she wanted it or not, but I thought we could both just forget and move on. But life wasn't always that simple. Our decisions shape our future, and my reckless decision of wanting to kiss a taken woman surely shaped mine, and definitely not the way I wanted it to.

I didn't admit it to anyone because what would be the point of it anyway? But since I've met her, she became an extremely important part of my life and after being ignored and avoided by her for days, I've realized she became the most important person of them all. Jennie was still my best friend, there was no doubt about that. Bam was still my big brother who I loved with my whole heart. And Jungkook was still my boyfriend who cared about me.

But with Rosie everything was so different, she was more to me than just a best friend, even though we never were exactly that, I felt as if our connection went deeper than beyond best friends. She wasn't my family, not by blood at least, but she felt so close to me as if she was. She wasn't my significant other, but something about her made me want to act like she was.

That night in the kitchen, I figured it out, but the word still felt so unfamiliar on my tongue. Probably because I never believed in such things, in destiny or faith. In being written in the stars and every action leading up to that one specific moment that was bound to happen ever since you were born. I still didn't believe in either of those things, at least I didn't think I did, but I felt like soulmates might not be that far fetched. Actually, I think it wasn't far fetched at all, even though it sounded crazy. There might be one person amongst the other seven billion that you were meant to meet. Well, I don't think you were destined to meet this one person, I think that if you did, it was just luck on your side.

Not everyone met their soulmate, not everyone might have even had one. So when you did, it was a big deal, at least that's what I imagined. I didn't want to throw big words around, but I felt like Rosie really was just that - my soulmate.

I've never felt the way I did, when I was with her, around anyone else. It's like she was everything to me. My closest friend, my safe house, my family and she could be so much more. She made the difference in me, saw things in me that I never showed anyone. She might have got to know me better during this short period of time than anyone ever did.