Come Back When You Can

Chapter 24: Breathe

Chapter 24: Breathe

There were moments when DJ would ask himself if he's going beyond the line? If Kathryn always making the move was too much or if making her wait was a douchebag move but there were also moments when he wanted it all to stop and go back to normal. But everything was far from normal. Even himself, wasn't normal. He knew he was being hard sometimes and he tried not to. He wanted nothing but to hold Kathryn in his arms or just spread kisses on her face but there was something about Kathryn that scared him. Everything was so easy for her. It was so easy for her to decide that they'll go back to square one, it was so easy for her to stay with him this time, it was so easy for her to do things that will surely make him weak. While, it was a good thing most times... How easy would it be for Kathryn to leave him again?

What if the second chance was for a proper closure? That's such a sad thing to think about so he never really dwelled on that. He wants to believe that Kathryn is the one and that even though, they're going through a tough time right now, it would get better. Because they're Kathryn and Daniel, they always get it right. Okay, maybe not always. But most of the time. Would he have been happier if he chose to move on after Kathryn left? Perhaps not. Would it have been better if he fought for her harder back in the day? He'd like to think so. But he did all he can back then. At the age of 19, he had done things he never thought he would, especially not for a girl. But Kathryn was different. She stands out in everything that she does and he was so in love with her.

He never bothered to create a tough exterior after Kathryn left. He let people see that he was sad and vulnerable. He didn't want to work with different actresses, he refused to get out of bed, he cried and cried until he couldn't anymore. He was in his room most of the time and it worried his mom, his dad and his siblings. He didn't say he was fine, there was no point in lying. He tried calling Kathryn, every day and every night. He would leave voicemails. He used every application possible to send a message to Kathryn. He waited and waited and waited until he realized she wasn't coming back anymore. It took him one full year to function again. He started going to events, he started acting again and he started going back to school. Step by step, he was trying to accept that Kathryn was out of his life. At least, that's what he's trying to make everyone believe, especially himself.

When he graduated University, he quit show business and tried to build his own company. He thought, starting anew will help him. And he it did. He got better. He was smiling again. He was laughing, he was back to moderate drinking, he was back to his old self but something was always missing but he knew he would get nothing if he ever bothers to fill that missing hole. Only one person could fill that and she wasn't there anymore and that was okay. For once, he believed he was going to be okay.

When he saw Kathryn, 10 years later for a meeting, he knew his feelings would come back. It was never gone, anyway. But what he didn't expect was for the feelings to hit him that hard. She was so beautiful that day. She is beautiful. He was so sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He could hardly contain himself. Things happened so fast and he trusted her again, and once again she broke his heart. He had no idea what to with her anymore. He was tired and done and annoyed of the situation but when she picked him up at his house, there he was again, drawn to her. There was always something bringing him back to her.

DJ was in a parking lot, waiting for his mom and thinking about life, literally. 30 long minutes later, the passenger door swung open. Karla was smiling but her smile faltered as soon as she saw DJ thinking hard again. As a mom, she knew when something was bothering him and if it was good or bad. She got in and placed a hand on her son's shoulder.

"Are you okay, son?" She asked.

"Hey, didn't notice you there." DJ said, snapping out of his day dream and igniting the car. He started backing up and drove out of the parking lot. "Did you get everything that you need?"