Chapter 15

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"SLEEP with her, get it over and done with."

Napatingin si Zeph sa kaibigan niyang si Narciso. Nasa isang Japanese restaurant sila na isang kakilala nila ang may-ari. Espesyal ang kanilang puwesto roon—nakabukod sa karamihan.

Iyon kaagad ang sinabi nito sa kanya kahit ang sinabi pa lang niya rito ay may nakilala siyang espesyal na babae.

"What made you think it would be that easy?"

Ang lakas ng tawa nito, saka nag-chopstick ng sushi para ilapit sa bibig. Nakatawa pa rin ito habang pailing-iling sa tuwing susulyap sa kanya.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"Just who the hell is this girl you can't sleep with? I have never told you this, pare, but I've always thought if you wanted to seduce a nun, you actually could."

"Wow!" nasambit niya, hindi dahil sa "mataas" na opinyon nito sa kanya pagdating sa bagay na iyon kundi sa mismong opinyon nito patungkol sa kanya. He wondered how many people thought he was a pig, and asked his friend that.

Ang lakas na naman ng tawa nito. "I didn't say you would want to do it. I only said if you wanted to, you could."

"Great. I'm a walking dick."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. Shut up, man. I'm starting to sound gay here, for God's sake."

It was his turn to laugh. Kahit matagal na silang magkaibigan, kailanman ay hindi sila nagkaroon ng pagkakataong pag-usapan ang mga sex life nila o love life. Ni hindi niya alam kung bakit. He had other male friends, too, and when he got together with them, all they talked about was that. Maybe it was one of the reasons why he treasured his friendship with Narciso—he was not but a male friend, but a real friend.

"No, seriously, man, she's different. And I never thought someone like her would say 'no' to me. But, hey, you're right. Maybe I ought to sleep with her and that would shut me up."

"Or you could quit wasting your time with her and find other women to sleep with."

Of course that had crossed his mind. Lalo na noong simula. Sino ba naman iyong babae na iyon na ang hirap i-seduce samantalang ang dami namang iba riyang handang maghintay sa kanya nang ilang oras para lamang makasama niya sa isang gabi. Parang nahihirapan siyang sabihin sa kaibigan niyang hindi niya makuhang ibaling sa iba ang atensiyon niya.

Sa mismong sarili niya ay nahihirapan siyang ipaliwanag iyon. How the hell could that have happened to him? Someone who had spent his entire life dedicating his time to himself and to the business he was asked to take care of.

"Do you sleep around, Narciso?" he asked. "I mean, how's it like to be married and have only one girl in your bed every night? Don't be telling me bullshit now. I know you used to be like me."

"You're a lot worse, but okay, I'll let that slide." Iyon lang at hindi na nito sinagot ang tanong niya.

"Come on, answer the damned question."

"I don't sleep around."

"Bullshit!"

"I don't."

"Bullshit!" Hindi lang niya masabi rito na kahit anong ganda ng asawa nito, kitang-kita niyang hindi ito masaya sa pagsasama ng mga ito. Nang sabihin nga nito sa kanya noon na ikakasal na ito sa babaeng iyon ay natawa siya, sapagkat malinaw sa kanyang hindi ang tulad ng babaeng iyon ang nababagay rito. He had nothing personal against his wife, it was just that she looked so fake to him.

"I really don't sleep around because it's different now. It would feel off sleeping with another woman."

"Wow! It would feel off sleeping with a woman other than your wife and that's because...?"

"It would feel off sleeping with a woman other than a woman I did not marry."

"Whoa!" Natigilan siya. What a revelation! "So what you're trying to say is...?"

"What I'm trying to say, idiot, is that I'm married to the wrong woman and sleeping with her doesn't feel right because I'm in love with somebody else. And that I would kill you if you tell anyone about this." Tinawag nito ang isang waitress at nagpahatid ng brandy.

"Why didn't you marry the one you love then?"

"I never realized I was in love with her. Or maybe I did, I just never thought it would be this hard to forget her. Oh, this is so fucking gay."

"So, love, huh?" aniya. "What's it really like?"

"I guess a lot worse than being in solitary confinement when she's gone. If love finds you, face it head-on. That's the sanest advice I could give you."

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