It Takes a Wolf

Chapter 13: Helpless

It had been three days. Three days of not seeing her smile or her deep blue iris. Three days of not hearing her laugh or the sound of his name rolling off her tongue. Fenris had been by her side holding her hand for three days, he never left her. He refused to eat, refused to sleep for fear something would happen and he will have failed her once again. It pained him to see her lying so still, mimicking death. But if she must suffer, then he will be certain to suffer as well. He blamed himself for this, he wasn't there to help her, to support her, to fight with her. She did it on her own and this was the price she had to pay and by the Maker he would make sure he paid it to.

Dorian and Varric had tried to get him to eat or rest, promising they would get him if anything had changed. It always ended with him losing his temper, nothing will ever keep him from her ever again. Gallevorn would come multiple times a day to check on her, he never tried to persuade Fenris to take a break or to rest. He knew what he was feeling, he felt it as well, he understood him.

Fenris sat silently with his thoughts when Dorian came into the tent. "Fenris please, you must rest to regain your strength." Fenris shook his head not saying a word, his eyes never leaving Ellenwen.

"She will be fine, you notice her heart is beating stronger do you not? She will be okay, we are just waiting on her now. She will wake when she is ready." He sat in the chair across from him, looking down at her. "She is the strongest most stubborn person I have ever met. She will get through this, she has to, she knows she has to." Fenris remained silent with no emotion when Dorian sighed. "I have sent a raven to inform Cullen and Josephine of what happened, I told them we will not leave until she is fully recovered." Knowing he wasn't going to change his mind, he decided to leave.

Fenris felt like he was breaking, he could feel desperation clinging to his soul. He just wanted her to open her eyes, to hear her voice. He realized, in all this time he has had to think, just how much he cared for her, how much she meant to him, and how much he needed her and loved her. He would gladly give his life if it meant she could live on. Now he just needed her to wake up so he could tell her.

He got down on his knees beside her, holding her small delicate hand between his. He kissed her hand gently when he pressed it to his forehead, and began to pray. "Creators, Maker, Andraste whoever is listening, I beg of you, please, give her strength. Let her open her eyes and I will gladly take her place if you'll have me, just please, please don't take her from me." He shuddered at the thought of her never waking again when he felt something softly caress his cheek. When he looked to see what it was his breath caught in his throat.

"I won't let them have you." Ellen said sternly, staring into his eyes with that fierce determination he'd come to love so much. His eyes widened in disbelief as his heart banged loudly in his chest. A gasp escaped her when he grabbed her face with his hands, crashing his lips into hers. He kissed her with such ferocity, checking that she was real, that this was not a dream. She responded fervently, meeting him with the same intensity. His tongue explored every inch of her mouth, his hands moving all over her body. He wanted to be sure, he needed to be sure.

He broke away from her lips and peppered kisses along her chin, cheeks and eyelids before leaning his forehead against hers. He stared straight into her eyes with such devotion, "Ar lath ma, Ellen. I love you."

She smiled the biggest smile as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Ar lath ma, Fenris." She said, kissing him again.

It took every ounce of restraint he had left to keep from losing himself in the throws of passion. As much as he wanted to show her the depths of his love at this very moment, she had just woken up, she needed to rest, to regain her strength. For when they do surrender to their desires, she will need it.