So In Love

17

Well you already know about my father... well not all of it but for the most part. "What else is there to that story?" Josh asked. Well I told you he hurt me. Josh nodded. I'm always scared others will hurt me like him too but that's only part of it. "What's the other part?" Josh asked. Tyler sighed.

Did I ever tell you about my exs? "No.... but your mom mentioned that they werent the nicest." Josh said. That's a kind way of putting it i guess. "What was so bad about them? And what do they have anything to do with what happened the other day?" Josh asked.

More tears flooded Tyler's eyes and he turned his face to hide agaisnt Josh's side as he tried to swallow his sobs. "Hey Shh Shhh it's okay. Keep going you're doing good" Josh said. Give me a minute. Tyler signed sloppily with shaky hands. Josh nodded.

After a moment Tyler sat back up. But he was still crying and shaking. They were worse then my father.. I almost died... more than once. Josh's eyes widened. "They tried to kill you?" He asked. Not intentionally. They werent serial killers or anything. They just... they were angry.. all the time.

"For what reason?" Josh asked. Tyler shrugged, taking a shaky breath. Anyway.. when they got mad they would come after me and beat the shit out of me... I used to let them... thought i deserved it. Josh looked extremely worried. When I tried to do something to get them to stop it was always worse.

Tyler squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered the first time he tried to stand up for himself with his first boyfriend. He ended up getting his face smashed off the kitchen counter and the absolute shit beat out of him then left to scream in pain.

He took another shaky breath. Sometimes I would run. I knew when it was coming and I would run. I knew they were mad or upset or whatever it was so I would run..... sometimes I would run after a beating knowing there was going to be more to come.... I would run to the bedroom and lock the door.. they would chase me and they would bang on the door and demand I let them in.

Tyler took another moment to himself. "I am so sorry Tyler. I-I wouldn't have chased you if I knew that. I wouldnt have done any of that." Josh said. They always found a way in and it was always a thousand times worse. Josh leaned over to hug Tyler, kissing his forehead. He wanted to find all of Tyler's exs and beat the fuck out of them.

I've had my ribs broken at least ten times. Ive had countless bruises and black eyes. So many cuts and stitches and busted lips. You think I would have learned earlier but I'm just stupid.... or maybe I thought it was what I deserved.. maybe I needed it.... needed the reminder I'm worthless since my dad wasnt around to do it anymore. I dont know... but I always went back and i always said it was okay. Always forgave them. Always ended up with someone like them.

"Baby-fuck." Josh whispered shakily, tears in his own eyes as he hugged tyler tightly. No one knew this was happening. If they did they probably would have called the cops.. probably would have arrested them.... still no one knows... you cant tell anyone. Especially not my mom.

Tyler looked so vulnerable and scared and hurt, he had just spilt everything to Josh, told him very concerning things and told him to keep it all a secret. "I dont agree with not telling anyone. I think those bastards should get what they deserve... but if you want me to keep it secret i will." Josh said. Thank you.

Josh nodded and just hugged Tyler for a bit before everything clicked for him. It clicked for him why Tyler had ran away that first time they met, it clicked why he ran away the first time Josh seen him deep in his headspace, it clicked why Tyler always needed an okay to do something, it clicked, everything just clicked.

Tyler is still scared. Deep down hes terrified, petrified that one itty bitty wrong move would end up with more broken ribs and more faces smashed of counters. He hugged Tyler impossibly closer, kissing his head as he took a shaky breath. He hated that Tyler lived through that. He was astonished that Tyler was still alive.