Breaking the Fantasy (Polyfidelity)

Chapter 17 - Strawberry Smack

Chapter 17 - Strawberry Smack

Saville's POV:

I was doing everything to keep my emotions to myself on the short cab ride back to the hotel. I didn't need Lana asking questions that would provoke only more sadness from me. Was it sadness? I didn't even really know what I was feeling anymore.

At first when I had thrown our contract into the trash, I had felt broken. Like I was lost and drifting out to sea with nothing holding me down to the shore. I had assumed it was heartbreak. Was it?

How invested had I become in two weeks? Surely my heart wasn't broken because who allows themselves to be emotionally invested in this kind of relationship? Everything was behind the wall that kept everything real about myself away from the world.

I could feel the small little part of me inside that wanted emotion...love, care and protection. It was awful realizing that you might have to fulfill all you wanted by yourself. Setting goals and dreams for yourself was good, and achieving them was even better... but isn't there a saying about wanting someone to share it with?

Walking into the hotel Suite, Lana was only a few steps behind me. She didn't speak excessively, and I wondered if that was from bad experiences, or if that was just her? I couldn't really know the answer since I hadn't known her before the drugs. I could tell she was still a tad high, and for the moment, I thanked the heavens for that.

It's not that I'm a shitty person, I just don't know enough about addiction and drugs to know how to deal with heroine withdrawal. This is what prompted me to wake Finn from his humorous spot, sleeping horizontally. He looked around the room, ready for anything thanks to working for me... After a scan of the odd situation, he gestured to the bathroom, obviously signaling for a private conversation.

"I was under the impression that you were gay? I mean given the husband, the two boyfriends... now you bring a female junkie in here?" He jokes, making my own mind swirl with how witty and genuinely funny he can be on a moments notice.

"She needs help. I need you to take her to Strawberry Meadows." My voice is less authoritarian than I would like. I'm Finn's boss, and sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to sound like it. He only started to rub his temples frustratingly...

"The "Strawberry Meadows" that is across the country?" My Assistant/Bodyguard asks with a questioning but non-threatening growl.

"Yes. She's on the edge of withdrawal now... I'm worried that if I don't get her on the flight soon, we'll run out of time." I explain in hushed voices, even though I'm sure Lana doesn't care about this conversation.

"Who is this girl anyway; someone your willing to flex your celebrity for to get a spot in this place? Let alone that, but also have your Assistant escort her to and from?" His questions are rational, and normal under any circumstances. Yet I don't have a precise answer.

"Look, she needs help and it's important to me. I'm doing this for her, and for me... whom she is shouldn't matter." I explain, not wanting to delve into the mess of my personal life.

For a long time, I see Finn simply stare at me. I'm sure my eyes show how defeated I look, or maybe they show the determination I have for this girl. Past experience has proven to me that my eyes usually reveal my weakness rather than strength. Slowly a large hand is softly caressing my cheek.

"I really hope you realize at some point how much you are worth." Finn speaks, before walking out of the bathroom and begins speaking to Lana.

I'm left sitting on the edge of the bathtub, trying to understand what just happened between us. Finn never disclosed his sexuality, and I've never asked about it. He's shy, closed off and doesn't rarely open up to many people. It's only during this trip that he seems to be joking more and being friendlier with me.