Breaking the Fantasy (Polyfidelity)

Chapter 10 - White Noise?

Chapter 10 - White Noise?

Saville's POV:

I guess it's been a week. To be honest, I didn't feel the time move or the life being lived. Granted, I spent this week in a drunken-blur of scenes. Between work and... well, I guess that's it... all I do is work.

Scene after scene, take after take, I stand in front of cameras and the lights and the people. I don't know if they can tell how out of it I truly am, because even if they did, they don't say anything.

You would think that my acting would be shit, that my work would suffer when I'm barley present for it. But, I have bits of time, of people on set telling me my scenes are fantastic. They say the same about Violet and I's chemistry.

Either everyone's lying, which wouldn't truly surprise me anymore; or I'm getting away with it. I don't know which prospect scares me more?

If I was crying for help, would I even know it?

"Saville!!" I hear my name screamed, but the sound seems to be traveling underwater.

I don't move, yet try to follow the noise in the darkness. I turn my head but still, all I see is blackness and the emptiness of an abyss.

"Sav!" I hear the same deep voice yell through the same medium. It scares me, my body and mind panicking, yet I can't seem to move on my own.

I feel cold, like when your sitting in a heavenly air-conditioned room. The numbing feeling started in my feet and hands, and I can almost see the flush of red against my cheeks in my imagination.

Even though the panic is rising with in me, my awareness dwindles as I feel the abyss call out for me. I feel sleepy. As much as I want to open my eyes, or even speak, I can't... and I succumb to the darkness.

_______

Beep...
Beep...

Beep...
Beep...

Beep...

I almost don't want to open my eyelids when I hear the sound. Yet I know several people must have questions for me. The pressure to open them only pushes me to do just that as my corneas adjust to the brightness of my hospital room.

Slumped in a armchair to the side of me is my loyal Finn. His voice echoes through my brain alerting me to his presence before I passed out. He was calling out to me.

"Mr. Carter, you're awake. I'll just get your vitals really quick, then have the Doctor come speak with you." A short, plump and friendly nurse speaks to me. Her voice awakens the snoozing giant next to me, who only proceeds to glare at me.

Finn's eyes follow the nurse around the room as she checks everything out, before making a quiet and polite exit.

"What the fuck?" He speaks in such a disappointed tone that cuts me deep. The shame I feel explode inside me is practically fatal, bringing instant tears to my eyes.

"Saville, what are you doing? Your lucky I even heard you, it was practically 4am. All the vomit in the bathroom, and there you are with those bloody bite marks all over your bruised, barley clothed body." His recollection of the scene is terrifying and makes me want to vomit just hearing it.

"I wanted to take care of myself." I struggle the words out and yet, I know their the wrong ones.

"Take care of yourself!! You've got to be kidding me Sav, what is going on with you? Stop lying, stop faking your way through this... I signed a NDA to work for you. I'm trying to be your friend... so talk to me..." Finn resounds, this being the first time I've ever seen him express more than a simple emotion.