Hang in there (Jamilton)

20

Alex's Pov

The bubbles swirled around my feet and disappear down into the drain as I washed the shampoo out of my hair. There was no way that Jefferson was doing this just because he cared about me. I traced the lines that outlined my ribs, they weren't that bad were they. They were only temporary until I got back on my feet. I had taken off the bandages revealing splotchy bruises. 

I turned the water to cold letting it knock the sense back into me. I was going to do this for Philip. He deserved to be in a good part of the city even if it was only for a month or two. I scrubbed myself down with my hands since my washcloth was at my apartment. I knew at one point I would have to go back and grab my things. The thought of that made me shutter. I could ask James to go with me, or maybe John.

I stepped out of the water and wrapped a towel around my waist and looked at myself in Jefferson's mirror. The dark circles that hung underneath my eyes had only grown darker. My dark hair clung to my head outlining my thin face. I tried to remember when I hadn't always looked exhausted. Back in the Carribean, I worked tirelessly. Before I dropped out, I had always worked to my fullest extent at law school. At the firm, I had worked just as hard, but I didn't look this drained. It was because of Eliza. She was my beacon, she and Philip had always been there when I came home late from the office, or there to tell me that enough was enough and I needed sleep.  

But that was over. I slammed my fist against the counter. It was all over, her kind face and her relaxing words. Bottles of soap and Jefferson's razor clattered to the floor. I fell to my knees, she was truly gone. I would never hear her beautiful laugh echo through the room again. I would never get to turn on the radio and dance with her across the living room late at night. All the moments we had shared were gone as if they had never existed. All the times we spent together that now only lived in my memory.

I wanted to scream. How could the world be so unfair, what did I do that the world would want revenge for. In the short time that I was alive, I had suffered more than that average person does in their lifetime. What was there left for me now? I had never felt more alone in my life. I felt the walls closing in on me. I felt my eyes heat up and tears threatened to fall.

The smell of breakfast drifted into the bathroom and I realized what I had to live for was out there. Philip needed me to be there for him. Like a cornered animal I tore down the walls and grabbed what had fallen. I stood back up throwing the soap and razor on the counter and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I slipped into the jeans Jefferson had given me and buttoned up the shirt. I had people who needed me and I wasn't finished with my life. If the world was going to be unfair to me, so be it, but I wasn't going to back down without a fight.

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A/N:

Sorry this chapter took so long to come out. I went away for the summer and the day I got back my boyfriend broke up with me. Schools also started and I've been busy with that. I'll try to get these out a lot faster now and try and get on a schedule.