(Sasunaru) Its complicated.

Sitting on memory lane

*This chapter involves self harming*

Blonde POV

I took a deep breath. As if Sundays didn't suck enough. I couldn't help but wonder over how different my life looked, in contrast to how it was Friday night, when I had gotten ready to go to the carnival. I let my head rest against the wooden fence I was leaning my back on. The coldness of the pavement was seeping through my skinny jeans, but I didn't have the energy to care. I pressed the "home"-button on my phone, seeing the screen light up. I've been sitting out here since 4 am, and now its.... 5:42 am.

Still no calls.

Or messages.

I stared at the screen blankly,before looking at my wrist, letting my thumb stroke the skin slightly. 

It was vague, old and very vague, so no-one had noticde it yet. Not even him.I scowled slightly, avoiding to think his name.  

You won't notice them if you don't know they're there, or if you already know what to look for. I made sure of that. I never let anyone find out about my scars.  

The bad habit had started in ninth grade, when my only friend had told me he was moving away at the end of the semester, and I had felt so empty and alone. And I decided I wanted to feel anything but the emptiness. The first cut was sloppy. I hadn't thought it through, I had just used a kitchen knife. It felt, alright, but left a huge mark. However, it wasn't on my wrist, so no one thought much of it. I don't even think anyone really noticed it. Its on the inside of my upper arm, and I remeber that it wouldn't stop bleeding. It had happened during a Friday, and by monday, it had slightly healed, so I hadn't used bondage for it, since I didn't want anyone to see. However, after school they had of course beat me up. The main guy, I'm pretty sure his name was Nagato, had violently shoved him into the wall, and the wound had reopened, and, of course, bled trough the longsleeved shirt. They had reacted by laughing at how pathetic he was, and then Nagato had kicked him in the stomach. 

The next time, I had thought it through more. I had used a sharp small blade, almost like a razor blade, and cut a long line.  

Two months later my friend barged in, just as I was wrapping my arm to stop the bleeding. I was so ashamed of myself, I've never seen him so mad before. He shook some sense into me, and stayed over for the following three weeks to make sure I wouldn't do it again. 

He had been amazed by how fast I healed. He said it wasn't average, that most would have big scars by then. I would have gone to the doctor to find out why I healed so fast, but seeing as everyone seemed to dislike me, I decided not to.

Yesterday was the only time since then I had seriously considered doing it again, if only for a second. Thats when I decided to take the anti-depressant anyway. 

Even if I heal un-naturally fast, it just isn't worth it. 

I could never go back to the person I was then. 

And I could never let Sasuke see me like that. Those were the two worst months of my life.

I looked up at the sky, that was starting to get brighter. I looked back on the screen of my phone yet again. Still no call. 

Then I saw a familiar blonde, dressed in a black leather jacket with red clouds, I think, matching the one on the redhead next to him, but I remained seated on the pavement. Ah. I was just thinking about you. I remembered that they had joined some kind of gang, and saw them walk against me, knowing they would spot me any minute.

And this time, I would let them.

Naruto: WHY

Emmilou: Because I have a story line thought out in my head already. 

Emmilou: Was it that bad?

Naruto:....

Emmilou: *sniffle* 

Kiba: Hey. Cheer up. 

Emmilou: *hugs Kiba* I do feel a little better now.