// muke one-shots //

you're cold and I burn, I guess I'll never learn (1/3)

(yes the title is lyrics from another the 1975 song but i love them and their songs are great and it kind of makes sense to this story)

Michael loved Luke, he really did. He always had. Luke was special, different and he made Michel happy. Well, at least he used to. 

When they first started dating, things were going well. More than well actually, they were great. Maybe because they were in the "honeymoon" phase and they were completely infatuated with each other. They always had to be near each other and they were always touching. Whether it was holding hands, or their legs touching when they sat. They were always touching. It was hard to keep them apart.

But now, things were different. They rarely even talked to each other. They never touched. Michael was lucky if he even got a "hello" once a month. Luke was barely home, he was out till the late hours of the night and returned just as the sun was starting to come out. He always reeked of alcohol when he finally made it back home and love bites scattered all over his neck and collarbones, made by someone who was not Michael. 

Everyone always asked Michael why he hadn't just gotten up and left already, everyone knew Luke was cheating. Michael knew too, he just never wanted to admit it to himself. He didn't want to think Luke could do that, he never wanted to think of Luke as a bad guy. Michael couldn't leave Luke, he loved him too much. Even if Luke didn't love him as much anymore.

"you deserve better" everyone always told him. Michael would just shrug it off. Luke did treat him good, well he used to. Luke was a great boyfriend. He cooked Michael dinner on weekends and they used to have movie nights all the time. Michael didn't think he deserved better, he thought he just needed to try harder. He needed to be what Luke needed, and he tried so hard to be just that.

Michael would buy Luke little gifts, hoping to get a smile from Luke or a hug or something. Anything. But nothing worked. Luke would take the gifts Michael gave him, and shove them in the bottom of his dresser drawer. Every time Michael watched him do that, his heart broke a little more.

Luke had the same routine everyday, Michael knew it by heart. He knew when Luke would get up to go out all night and he knew what time Luke would come stumbling back in their apartment early in the morning.

While Luke was out at a bar, getting drunk and having sex with someone who was not his boyfriend,  Michael would lay in bed every night by himself thinking of ways to be better for Luke. He blamed himself for all of this. Maybe if he had done things differently or if he hadn't been so clingy this wouldn't have happened. No matter how much other people told him it wasn't his fault, he'd never believe it. After hours of laying awake hoping Luke would decide to come home and thinking of ways to make Luke happy and ways to make Luke want him and love him like he used to, Michael would finally fall asleep with tear stained cheeks and a heavy heart.

Michael didn't understand why Luke was still here living with him, why he was still dating him if he didn't even talk or acknowledge Michael anymore. He wasn't upset about it, he loved Luke and he wanted Luke to be here but it just didn't make sense. His friends tried to tell him Luke just wanted money and wanted a roof over his head and they tried to tell Michael to just leave because he deserved better and he deserved to be happy but Michael refused to believe that. Michael told himself that a little part of Luke still had to love him, that's why he was still here, right?

Michael continued to tell himself that everyday but every time he saw Luke leave the apartment then come back hours later with new hickeys everywhere and chapped lips, he began to question himself. This wasn't normal, this wasn't what couples were supposed to be like. Why couldn't Luke just love him? This was starting to drive Michael insane. He just wanted his Luke back.

Michael learned that talking to Luke about anything was impossible so he stopped trying. He so desperately wanted to talk to Luke, it didn't even have to be about their problems or their relationship. He just wanted to talk to someone other than himself in their apartment for once. Luke and him used to have conversations about nothing for hours, he just wanted to get what they had back.

Luke wouldn't even sleep near him anymore, he'd stumble in their apartment and fall onto their couch.  Michael tried to tell himself it was because Luke was drunk and dizzy and the couch was closer for him to walk to, because admitting that Luke didn't want to sleep near him anymore because he didn't love him, hurt too much.

Another sleepless night passed as Michael layed awake praying Luke would come back and things would change and they could finally be happy again but, Michael wasn't surprised when it didn't happen. The thing that did surprise him though, was Luke never came home that night. He was worried, obviously. He loved Luke and if something happened to him, Michael wouldn't know what to do with himself. Michael waited anxiously in the apartment, debating if he should go look for Luke or not. He decided against it because Luke was probably at some girl's house and Michael shouldn't be worried, but he was and it was dumb and he hated it.

Hours later, when it finally evening, Luke came home. His blonde hair was a mess and he smelt horrible, his neck was covered in dark purple marks and his eyes were bloodshot. Probably from all the smoking he'd done. He walked straight passed Michael without saying a word and went to the washroom to shower. As soon as he got out, he left again.

And something finally hit Michael. He'd been lying to himself this whole time. Luke didn't love him. Maybe there was a time Luke did but not anymore and there was nothing Michael could do to change that. It didn't matter how hard Michael tried or what Michael tried to do to change. Nothing would ever be good enough and nothing would make Luke love him. Nothing would ever make Luke change. Michael did deserve better and he finally allowed himself to believe that. Relationships weren't supposed to be this, they were supposed to be happy and the love was supposed to go both ways. Michael deserved that.

Michael got out of bed and started packing his belongings.He'd always love Luke and Luke would always hold a special place in his heart, but he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't keep wishing and holding onto something that could never happen again, he had to leave.

So that's exactly what he did. 

A/N: hey guys, so I never really wrote about a breakup before and I thought this was kind of cool, it's a bit different from what I normally write but I hope you guys like it. I hope you guys know that I really do enjoy writing and try to make it enjoyable for you guys so I really really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. vote and comment please, thanks for reading!! you're all amazing. by the way, school is starting for me soon so I'm not sure if I'll be able to post as much as I have been but I'll definitely try! have a lovely day and good luck with school. x :)