Afraid | Nikki Sixx

50.

Nikki's POV

Carly's been out of the hospital for a few days now. Her Mom is staying with us in the guest bedroom and leaving tomorrow. It's been nice to see Carly smile and laugh with her Mom, you can tell they're really close with how they interact with one another. It's really cute, I'm also really happy that I got to meet her, I don't know why I waited so long, her Mom is fucking awesome.

"Guys, I'm gonna take a nap." Carly said, standing up from the couch and stretching. "Okay, babe." I said and stood up. I kissed her and hugged her tightly. "I'm only going to take a nap, I'm not leaving to go to war." She laughed. "I know but, I always miss you when you're not right next to me." I laughed a little. She smiled. "Mommy, can you wake me up in like an hour?" She said, walking over to her Mom. I think it's so cute that she still calls her Mom, "Mommy".

"Yeah, I'll make sure to." She smiled. Carly walked into our bedroom and shut the door. I sighed a little and sat back on the couch. "I can tell you really love her." Amanda spoke. I smiled. "Yeah, I love her a lot. She's like my entire world." I replied. "That's really good to hear, I'm just so happy she's in a healthy relationship." She said and sat down on the other side of the couch. "Please don't hurt her, she's been through so much." She said.

"I wouldn't even dream of hurting her," I said. "She hasn't opened up to me about much, but I know about her Dad and a little bit about her ex boyfriend that you told me about today." I said. "And about her self harm and bipolar depression, that's about it." I added on. "Carly's dealt with self harm ever since she was 11, it started at a fairly young age." Amanda replied. "Her ex boyfriend was one of the worst guys I've ever met," she began. "He wanted to see how fast he could get into her pants, he ignored her all the time, he laughed at her when they would get intimate together because she didn't know what to do, she would go into her room and cry about him every night." She said. "She never went all the way with him, and that's why he left and didn't come back because he realized he wasn't getting any." She said.

I shook my head. "Carly is so much more than just something to have sex with, she's the best girl I've ever met in my life." I said. "I love her so much and I've never loved anyone like this." I said. Amanda smiled. "That's makes me so happy, I just want what's best for her. She's never had a reliable male figure in her life, it's nice that she has one for a change." She said. I smiled. Carly must talk really highly of me to her Mother. "One thing I'm kinda iffy about," she began. "Is that you're addicted to heroin." She said, looking at me directly.

I shifted a little. "I'm just having a little fun." I replied. She shook her head. "Nikki, my daughter has never talked about someone the way she talks about you and I'm worried about that when you're doing something as deadly as heroin." She explained. "Not just that, I care about you, too. I want to see you healthy." She added on. I looked down at my lap. "I know it's a problem, Carly got me clean at one point in time and I slipped up–" "And you almost died." She cut me off. "Carly told me about it." She said. "That right there should indicate that this needs to stop." She said. I bit my lower lip.

"I'm going to try to get clean, I promise. I'm going to try for Carly," I said. "And for yourself, I hope." She said. I nodded. "Of course." I said, smiling. "I saw track marks on Carly's arm," Amanda began. I felt guilt wash over me again. "Is she doing that shit, too?" She asked. "She only did it two times, which was my fault," I said. "She was drunk and under the influence of other things and asked to try to it, I shot her up and I feel really bad about it." I finished, looking at her. "It won't ever happen again, Carly went through withdrawal and we almost broke up from it, I don't blame her for being mad at me. I'm still mad at myself for it." I said.

"Well, I appreciate your honesty," she began. "Never again, though. Right?" She asked. I nodded. "Promise?" She asked. "I promise." I smile. Amanda looks at the clock. "Oh, wow! It's already been a little over an hour. We talked a while." She said, laughing a little and getting up. She walked into mine and Carly's bedroom.

"Wake up, Carly. It's been an hour." Her Mom said. I heard Carly groan, causing me to laugh a little. "One more hour." She said, sleepily. "No! You'll never get any sleep tonight! Now, up!" Her Mom said. I smiled to myself. For once, my life seems pretty good. Carly's out of the hospital, I met her Mother, I'm about to go on tour. I'm actually, happy.