Afraid | Nikki Sixx

29.

Carly's POV

The day quickly turned to night and I was anxiously awaiting for the boys first concert of the tour to start. I was watching as all of them got their makeup situated, I say all, but I was really just focusing on watching Nikki.

"You know, I can see you watching me in the mirror, right?" He spoke, breaking me from admiring him, I felt my cheeks heat up. "Sorry, I just love watching you." I said, shyly. He smiled and finished up his makeup and walked over to me. "How do I look?" He asked, smirking a bit. "Perfect, as always." I replied, he kissed me softly and looked at himself in the mirror. "Want some Jack?" He asked, looking at me in the mirror. "Always." I laughed and walked over to Tommy who had the Jack Daniels bottle. I grabbed it from his hands and walked back over to Nikki.

"Hey!" Tommy laughed from behind me. "I wasn't finished with that!" He said. I just laughed and handed it to Nikki. "You've been around Nikki too much, you're too much like him now." He added on, chuckling a little. "I take that as a compliment," I replied, turning and facing him. I grabbed my cigarettes from the table and pulled one out and lit one.

"Thank you, baby girl." Nikki said smiling at me and taking a long swig from the bottle. I smiled and took a drag from my cigarette.

As time dwindled down, I started to get more and more excited, also anxious. I was probably more anxious than any of the boys. They're about to go out on stage. "Good luck, guys." I said, happily. "I know you'll be amazing!" I exclaimed. They all hugged me. "Go to the audience. Front row, we all wanna see you there, the security guard will help with that." Nikki said, smiling. "Okay, I'll be there waiting." I smiled wide.

I walked out into the venue and in front of the barricade, the security guard lifted me over the barricade on Nikki's side and made sure I was front row. "Have fun." He said, smiling a little. I thanked him and anxiously awaited my boys to come out.

What probably was only 10 minutes of waiting felt like hours until they finally came on stage, screams filled the room. I smiled up at Nikki on stage, he scanned the front row until his eyes landed on me, he leaned down and reached his hand out, I smiled showing my teeth and reached my hand out, out hands intertwined and he gave me a smile and wink and released my hand.

"Are you guys fucking ready to rock n roll?!" Vince yelled into the mic, causing the screams to intensify. The beginning of "Looks That Kill" began and my body was shaking with excitement, this is the very first concert I've been to and I'm so happy it's my boyfriends band.

The whole concert was amazing, they really know how to put on a show, I was singing along to every song and dancing along with the crowd. The concert came to a close and before making my way back to the dressing rooms, I quickly went into the bathroom backstage, I was hoping to see them while on my way to the bathroom, but they must've already got to their dressing room.

I quickly finished, freshening up a little while I was in there, fixing any smeared makeup. I made my way to the dressing room and opened the door. I was met with many different types of women, all hanging over at least one of the guys. My eyes scanned the room for Nikki. I found him in the back of the room, girls surrounding him.

All of a sudden, I felt self-conscious, all the girls around him and showing their cleavage to him, touching him and clearly flirting with him. They're all very beautiful. I dry swallowed, should I just walk over? I feel like I"ll just be in the way, or that I'll be ruining his time.

I was about to leave the room, just to take a walk around backstage when, "Carly Beth!" I heard Nikki's voice. I looked over and saw Nikki pushing through the girls throwing themselves at him and he ran over to me, lifting me up and spinning me around. I smiled wide. "Someone's happy." I giggled. Before he replied, he kissed me deeply, in front of every single girl in this room. "I am happy!" He exclaimed.

He put me back down and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and my pack of cigarettes and lighter. "Let's go to our hotel room to get away from some of this commotion." He said, handing me my cigarettes and lighter. I smiled and followed him out the door. We stopped by the tourbus and grabbed our suitcases that have our clothes in it and made our way to the hotel.

We checked in and got settled in in our room. We showered and now we're both just laying in bed, drinking and smoking cigarettes. "I didn't know you smoked." I commented, exhaling the smoke. "I don't really, just sometimes." He replied, taking a swing from the bottle before lighting another cigarette. "I wish we had some pot or blow, or even both." I spoke. Nikki laughed. "You sound like me, do you want to get some? I'm sure I can get someone to get some for us." He suggested, then taking a drag from his cigarette. "Only if you want to." I replied. He laughed and threw his head back a little. "Carly Beth," he started. "Do you know me at all?" He said causing me to giggle. "Okay, point taken." I simply said.

Nikki made a few calls before he finally got ahold of someone who'll deliver it to him. He went downstairs to get it and I sat up in bed and stretched.

The door opened and Nikki appeared. "I'm back." He said, smiling. "Hm, I wouldn't have known unless you said something," I sarcastically replied. "You have been around me for too long." Nikki laughed.

Nikki and I did lines for a while until I was in a complete state of euphoria. I felt like I was floating and it's the best feeling in the world. Nikki excused himself to use the bathroom after a while.

I laid back in the bed and smiled up the ceiling, this is only my second time being high, and I love it. While I'm like this, I'm happy, I'm carefree, I love myself for once and having Nikki with me is even better.

Nikki came back after a while, I turned my head and looked over at him. He was stumbling and holding onto the wall for support. "Are you okay?" I asked, sitting up. He nodded. "Yeah, I'm perfect, babe." He replied and sat down on the bed next to me. I glanced down at his arm and saw a fresh track mark, I looked back up at Nikki, he can barely keep his eyes open. "Are you sure?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah, let's smoke a joint." He said, changing the subject, kinda.

We continued on with snorting blow, smoking pot and drinking. It got to the point where neither one of us could stand up, we both just laid in bed, holding each other.

"How are you, Carly Beth?" He asked me. "We both smoked and snorted a lot, I know you're not used to it." He added on. I turned and faced him. "I'm perfect, Nikki." I replied, smiling. He smiled, too. "This tour is going to be amazing." He said, kissing me deeply.

(a/n: thank you so much for reading! i hope you like it! please vote, it's greatly appreciated! feedback is always welcome, okay bye👻)