Afraid | Nikki Sixx

13.

Carly's POV

The sun peeked through the curtains, causing me to wake up, I blinked my eyes, trying to adjust to the sun in my eyes, I rolled over and was met with Nikki's sleeping face. I smiled and moved his hair out of his face.

His cheekbones are much more prominent, he has dark bags under his eyes, he's paler than normal. When I was snuggling with him last night, I could feel that he's a lot skinnier than the last time I saw them. I scooted closer to him and kissed his lips softly, Nikki's lips slowly curved to a smile.

"Good morning, babe," Nikki mumbled, stretching a little. "Good morning, love." I replied, looking at him. "How did you sleep?" I smiled. "Great for once," he answered, sitting up. "And yoooou?" He dragged his words out. I giggled. "Perfect." I sat up and snuggled into him. His arms wrapped around me.

"Nikki, I have something serious to say," I said, I felt Nikki tense up. "Okay.." He replied, hesitantly. "You need to get help, you aren't looking healthy," I said quietly. "...I know," Nikki said, "it's harder than it looks, Carly." He said. I scooted myself closer to him. "I know that, babe. I'm here for you and the boys are, too." I said, trying to convince him. "I know you don't like going to rehab centers, you get quit cold turkey-" "Carly, the withdrawals of that are absolute hell. It feels like you're actually dying." He cut me off. "Yeah, but the best part about that is, you aren't going to die if you quit this." I said.

Nikki blankly stared at the bed. "Stay here." I said. "Or I could stay with you at your house." I added on. "I don't want to see you die, Nikki." Saying that brought tears to my eyes. Nikki took notice.

"Hey, Carly, look at me." He said, situating himself so that he was looking directly at me. "I'm not dying. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He said, his words gentle. He leaned in and softly kissed me. "I want to get help, I know you want me to get help. I will get help, I'm gonna stay here with you, okay?" He said, I smiled and nodded. "Okay." I replied, blinking away the tears.

"I'm telling you right now, seeing me go through the withdrawal is hard, I am in agonizing pain, but no matter what I say, don't get me any drugs. Promise me that," he said. I nodded. "I promise, I'm here to help."

Time had passed, only 2 days have gone by and Nikki is going through hell. I don't know exactly when the withdrawal ends, but I hope it's soon. Nikki looks like he's dying and it's making me feel horrible.

"Carly, I can't do this," Nikki cried, clutching his stomach. "It hurts so bad," he sobbed, I tried to swallow the lump that was in my throat. "I just need something, please." He pleaded, he was laying on the floor, his hands clutching his stomach, he has been throwing up nonstop. "You'll be okay, Nikki. You're almost over this," I said, trying to make him feel better. "I don't care! I don't care at all! I need this to stop!" He cried.

I walked into the kitchen and I felt hot tears run down my face. I covered my mouth and silently sobbed. Seeing Nikki like this is breaking my heart, knowing I can't do anything to stop it. I leaned my forehead against the wall and started to sob harder when I heard Nikki vomiting. I know it's not going to last forever, just a few more days and it'll be gone but, it's so hard to deal with.

(a/n: thank you so much for reading, please vote! it's greatly appreciated, feedback is always welcome. okay bye👻)